A Soldier's Heart by Marta Perry

Author:Marta Perry
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Tags: Romance
ISBN: 142684574X
Publisher: Harlequin
Published: 2007-01-01T08:00:00+00:00

For a long moment Luke didn’t respond. Mary Kate wanted her words back, but it was too late to recall them. Luke would think she was preaching at him, that she was a self-righteous prig, ready to tell other people what to do.

She wasn’t. She was just someone who’d fought that particular battle of the soul very recently, and remembered what it was like to be angry with everyone, including God, including Kenny, for what had happened to her family. She wanted, so much, to help Luke get rid of that debilitating emotion.

You promised to bring good out of even the bad things that happen, Father. If You mean for me to use my grief and anger to help Luke, You’ll have to give me the strength to do it, because I’m not sure I can on my own.

Something, some faint lightening in Luke’s expression, heartened her. “You don’t pull any punches, do you, M.K.?”

“Do you want me to?” Their hands were still clasped. She probably should pull away, but some instinct told her to hold on.

“No, I guess not. We’re friends.”

Friends. The word echoed in her mind. No matter how much she might tell herself that their relationship was that of therapist to patient, it wasn’t true. Their past affected their present, making it impossible to achieve professional detachment. Maybe that was why God had put her in a position to help him.

“As a friend,” she said carefully, “I hate to see you hanging on to a grudge against your father, no matter what he did.”

He shoved her hands away, half turning from her, and she felt as if he’d pushed her, instead. “You don’t know what it was like. If you did, maybe you wouldn’t be so quick to forgive.”

“Probably not, but—”

“But what?” The face he turned toward her was angry. “I’m a grown-up now? My mother is gone? It’s time to let bygones be bygones?”

The harsh words bruised her, but the emotion behind them told her he was hurting much more, holding on to his father’s betrayal like a burden he could never put down. Her heart chilled. Was that what lay in Michael’s future—a lifetime of feeling, no matter how irrationally, that his father had deserted him?

No, she wouldn’t believe that. Not for her little Michael, and not for Luke if she could do anything about it. But to help, she couldn’t hide behind the safety of focusing only on his feelings. She’d have to reveal her own. She’d have to say to him what she hadn’t said to anyone else.

“I was angry.” Just saying the words felt as if she stripped her soul bare, and she stared down at the worn tabletop, unable to look at him. “Don’t bother to tell me it doesn’t make sense, because I already know that. I couldn’t help it. I was angry at Kenny for dying. For leaving us.” Her voice thickened on the words. “And I was angry at God for letting it happen.”

“I’m sorry.” His voice softened a little.

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