The Trouble With Hairy by Hal Bodner

Author:Hal Bodner [Bodner, Hal]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: horror
Publisher: Crossroad Press
Published: 2014-06-19T04:00:00+00:00

The rest of the meal proceeded pleasantly enough. Carlos was dazzling and witty in a way Burman had never seen before. Even Louis grinned several times. When they finished, their plates were whisked away and Burman silently congratulated herself on getting them through the rest of the meal without incident.

Dessert arrived on a huge cart, covered with a large white cloth. With great pride, Renaldo announced, “And now, compliments of the house…Baked Alaska!”

With a flourish, the cloth was whipped away and a huge covered silver platter was revealed. At the sight of the shiny metal, Pamela felt Louis stiffen at her side, but before she could utter a word, Renaldo had removed the lid, and whisked the plate bearing the frozen dessert out from underneath and thrust it in front of their faces.

Louis threw himself backwards, moving only a few inches before he was brought up by the back of the booth. A low grumble started in the back of his throat and a moaning sound came out of his mouth. Carlos looked at him, dumbfounded with astonishment.

“Get that away, you idiot!” Burman shouted, and leaning forward, she shoved at the platter containing the Baked Alaska.

“I beg your…” Renaldo started to say, but Burman’s wildly flailing hand struck the side of the plate.

The Baked Alaska slid from side to side, wobbling madly. Renaldo, losing his one handed support underneath the platter, shifted his grip and leaned forward over the table trying to compensate. He failed miserably.

The Baked Alaska and the platter parted company. The Alaska sailed through the air to self destruct on the front of Carlos’ sweater. Gobs of ice cream splattered the walls of the booth, a particularly large gobbet kissing Pamela Burman smack in the center of the forehead.

As if this were not enough, the platter skittered off in the other direction, clipping Louis on the chin and tumbling down onto his lap. With a shriek of pain, Louis batted at the plate, causing it to tumble off his lap, directly onto his bare feet. His howling increased in volume.

To her horror, Pamela Burman watched as Louis’ five o’clock shadow proceeded on to six o’clock — then to quarter of seven and onwards toward eight thirty. In a burst of desperate inspiration, she wiped the dripping ice cream from her own forehead and threw it straight into Renaldo’s eyes. A split second later, she’d wadded up her linen napkin and crammed in into Louis’s mouth.

“It’s okay,” she shouted through the parted curtains at the two waiters who were rushing over to the table. “Just a little accident. No harm done.” The waiters paused for a moment and then, more slowly, kept coming, whipping out towels to clean the mess.

Louis kept trying to howl through the mouthful of cloth, scrabbling madly at the floor in an effort to kick the burning silver away from his rapidly blistering feet. Carlos sat, stunned, looking at Louis’s reddening hands and face, unable to do anything.

Please God, Burman prayed. Get me outta this.

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