The Spare Room by M. I. Hattersley

Author:M. I. Hattersley [Hattersley, M. I.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2023-05-04T16:00:00+00:00

NINETEEN

I guide Peggy into bed, which isn’t the easiest task in the world despite her diminutive size. With my arm around her, I can feel how bony she is. It’s as if she hasn’t eaten a decent meal in years, yet she drags her feet and is difficult to manoeuver. Eventually, I pull the covers back on the double bed she normally shares with Ron and lower her onto the sagging mattress.

“Stay with me,” she says as I lift her legs onto the bed and place the covers over her.

“Umm, I—” I don’t want to leave her alone if she’s feeling sad and lonely, but I can’t stop thinking about the fact Charlotte’s door is now unlocked. Did Peggy leave it that way? Did Ron? Is the reason he’s now in the hospital linked somehow? My mind is on overdrive and I have to tell myself to calm down. It’s probably nothing out of the ordinary. There’s probably nothing of interest in the room.

“Please, dear,” Peggy says, grabbing my hand in her bony grip. She looks up at me with eyes that are watery and full of pain and how can I say no?

“Sure. I’ll stay until you fall asleep,” I whisper, lifting her hand off mine and placing it gently on the bed. “Don’t worry. Everything is going to be fine.”

She smiles and closes her eyes before releasing a long rasping sigh that seems to reduce her size by at least a half. I worry for a moment she’s died but then her chest begins to rise and fall gently. I perch on the end of the bed and make myself as comfortable as I can.

As I watch Peggy lying there, looking so peaceful, I’m reminded once more of Nana Mary. We all called her nana, but she wasn’t really anyone’s nana. Or, if she was, she never mentioned any grandchildren to us. Mary was the head of Gladstone House. She was one of the good ones. Maybe one of the only good ones. I loved her. We all did. She gave good advice and I remember vowing when I left that I’d go back and look for her when I was old enough. To thank her. But life moves on and so does everyone else and I never did go back.

A shiver runs down my body. With my emotions laid raw, my head is suddenly filled with thoughts of Graham. I shake my head. I’ve got to stop this. I’ve got to forget about him and move on.

The problem is a part of me doesn’t want to. Why would I want to forget about someone I love? Yet I’m aware that this mindset is exactly what is keeping me stuck and unsure of myself. If I could only let go of the idea that we could ever rekindle our love, I’d be able to move on with the rest of my life. It would hurt like hell, I know that. But hurt doesn’t last forever. It weakens over time.

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