The Heart of a Storme by Sookoo Sandra

Author:Sookoo, Sandra
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Fiction, Romance, Historical
Publisher: Dragonblade Publishing, Inc.
Published: 2021-08-02T16:00:00+00:00

Chapter Eleven

July 9, 1817

The longcase clock on the floor below struck midnight, and the everlasting chimes resonated throughout the house, reaching into the depths of Finn’s rooms. Those tones were much like a death knell, constantly tolling, telling him his time on this mortal coil was finished, and that perhaps he’d already overstayed his welcome.

He’d arrived home an hour ago, but the acute mortification, anger, and self-loathing that had held him captive at that society event churned through his chest. His head ached from the barrage of voices telling him he wasn’t good enough, was an embarrassment to his friends and family, would always be a burden, that no woman would want him in his current condition.

Damned depression. Too tired and heartsick to fight it, he let it have its way with him. Devil take the consequences.

When he’d imagined this evening, it had ended much differently than the reality. He’d pictured Jane draped across his chest, languid and limp and sated from carnal play, replete from his skill. Instead, though he’d brought her to release with his mouth, when it had come time to claim her body, his bloody prick had turned traitorous. Or perhaps he hadn’t believed his limitations were as real as the doctors had warned, assumed he could overcome them if he’d thought positively, tried hard enough, wanted that climax more than anything.

He snorted. Getting hard and staying that way was exactly the problem.

Now, it was glaringly obvious he couldn’t have intercourse with anyone; to say nothing of being able to penetrate a woman. The magnitude of that hit him in the chest with all the force of a blow. The pain of it made him double over in his Bath chair. He’d failed at the one thing in which a man was supposed to excel. Not to mention he’d disappointed the woman he’d wished to impress with his prowess. A flutter around his heart stole his breath and he rubbed his fingers over the spot. To see that frustration in her beautiful eyes, suffer through her futile efforts to stimulate his shaft, feel hope die when he knew anything further she wanted to do would have the same results…

God, it had been too much.

As the darkness of depression had crept over him in that parlor, he’d made sure to drive a wedge between him and Jane. He’d ended the relationship before the dismal reality of who he truly was could set in with her; before they could grow closer… before she had just cause to regret her choice or resent him… or mourn for him. Now, the last thing he needed to do was rid the world of his presence so he wouldn’t hurt anyone else with his inability to remain whole.

Like a man should be in all aspects of life.

From the bed, Wellington glanced at him with unblinking blue eyes. She meowed as if to inquire why he was acting like such a nodcock.

Finn shook his head. “Don’t try to talk me out of this, girl.

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