The Emotional Intelligence of Jesus: Relational Smarts for Religious Leaders by Roy M. Oswald & Arland Jacobson

Author:Roy M. Oswald & Arland Jacobson [Oswald, Roy M. & Jacobson, Arland]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Religion, Christian Church, General, Christian Living, Leadership & Mentoring
ISBN: 9781566997799
Google: M0-voQEACAAJ
Publisher: Rowman & Littlefield
Published: 2015-11-15T23:44:17.463915+00:00

Ten

The Emotionally Intelligent Congregation

Emotional intelligence is not a static characteristic within humans; the same is true for congregations. It is developed through an ongoing process that builds upon a history of meaningful relationships between pastors and the congregation, plus deep interpersonal relationships that congregants have with each other. The congregation’s identity as a place of healing and personal support is no accident. It will have been guided by strong leaders, both clergy and lay, who sense the importance of being emotionally intelligent, even if they do not use that term.

The emotionally intelligent congregation is a community of people within which a good number of basic human needs are met. Some philosophers say we cannot be human alone. There is growing awareness of the devastating psychological effects that extended solitary confinement has on prison inmates. It drives some people insane. Relationships are central to our growth as individuals. Research also confirms the positive relationship between high-quality interpersonal relationships and physical health. Positive human contact can lengthen our life dramatically. In their book Primal Leadership, Daniel Goleman, Richard Boyatzis, and Annie McKee say:

Research in intensive care units has shown that the comforting presence of another person not only lowers the patient’s blood pressure, but also slows the secretion of fatty acids that block arteries. More dramatically, whereas three or more incidents of intense stress within a year (say, serious financial trouble, being fired, or divorced) triple the death rate in socially isolated middle aged men, they have no impact whatsoever on the death rate of men who have cultivated many positive, close relationships.1

Cutting off a person from his or her community can have devastating consequences. Seventy years ago, anthropologist Walter Cannon discussed the practice of “bone pointing” within Australian aboriginal tribes.2 Tribal members understood that having a bone pointed at you by the community’s shaman meant that you no longer existed. You stopped being real. In one instance cited, a bone was simply pointed at an individual during a ritual conducted by the community’s shaman. The results were dramatic. The person trembled, fell backward as in a swoon, and writhed, moaning. After composing himself, the previously healthy person retreated to his hut and refused to eat. Within a short time, he was dead. Cannon, citing William James’s work in Principles of Psychology (1905) on the extreme effects of total social isolation, maintains that within such a primitive tribe, that specific community was the whole world to an individual. A person had nowhere else to go where he would be considered a real human being again. That kind of enclosed culture is quite different from life as we experience it. Most of us are considered real within many different communities; hence we experience many different ways we can remain alive. Even just going to a bar to have a drink affirms that we are a real human being.

Communal acceptance remains one of the gifts congregations can offer people. Walk into many congregations, and you are likely to find people ready to talk to you.

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