The Amsterdam Adventure by Paul O'Grady

Author:Paul O'Grady [O’Grady, Paul]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
Published: 2021-09-09T17:00:00+00:00

Having escaped Vera’s clutches, Aunt Budge headed for the garden to see what damage the insufferable Mrs van Loon had inflicted out there. She also felt the need to get a bit of fresh air as the room was growing very hot.

Eddie wanted some more of those plump, juicy raspberries from the buffet, so he told Aunt Budge he’d join her later.

On the way, his eye was caught by a small painting hanging on the wall, lit by a bright spotlight. He studied it, unable to make out what it was supposed to be. It just looked like an orange blob with two white dots for eyes.

He felt a hand gripping his shoulder. Without even looking, Eddie immediately knew it was Vera van Loon because of the overpowering, cloying smell of the awful perfume she soaked herself in. It was so strong that it clung to everything and everyone around her.

‘You like this painting?’ Vera purred like a cat about to pounce on a mouse. ‘It’s charming, isn’t it? So simple yet so meaningful.’

‘What is it?’ Eddie asked.

‘What do you think it is?’ she said, squeezing his shoulder harder. Having Vera’s inch-long fingernails so close to his face made Eddie feel extremely uncomfortable.

He thought for a moment. ‘An orange with eyes?’

Vera made a noise that she thought of as a girlish laugh, but it actually sounded like someone scraping the bottom of a pan with a knife.

‘You poor uneducated orphan of the British slums,’ she sneered. ‘You are obviously an ignoramus when it comes to art.’

‘No, I’m not.’ Eddie was quick to defend himself. ‘I really like Banksy. He’s brilliant, and his street art costs millions to buy. Oh, and by the way,’ he added, shaking free of Vera’s grip, ‘I don’t live in a slum and I have a dad.’

‘Whatever,’ Vera said dismissively. ‘Banksy is just a common street cartoonist who scribbles on walls. But this precious work of art,’ she said, pointing at the orange blob, ‘is totally unique. It’s an abstract of an orangutan. Just look at the beautiful colour and texture of that utterly divine coat. Can’t you tell, child?’

Eddie tilted his head sideways to study the painting, but it still looked like a blob to him.

‘No, sorry,’ he admitted. ‘I can’t see it. What’s it worth?’

‘It’s on sale for a hundred thousand euros,’ Vera said proudly, ‘and worth every cent.’

Eddie started to laugh. ‘You’re joking,’ he said between giggles. ‘A little kid of three could do better than that. Who painted it?’

‘Me,’ Vera replied coldly.

Eddie stopped laughing immediately. He wasn’t sure what to say after putting his foot in it big time like that, so he just gave Vera a sheepish grin and mumbled, ‘Sorry.’

Vera stared at him long and hard.

‘Let’s not keep in touch, eh?’ she suggested, giving him a look that could poison a reservoir before flouncing off in a huff, leaving Eddie feeling very embarrassed. Vera van Loon might be awful, but he hadn’t meant to offend her.

In the meantime, Flo had

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