Preventing Sexual Abuse in Congregations by Karen A. McClintock

Author:Karen A. McClintock
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781566996105
Publisher: Rowman & Littlefield Publishers
Published: 2014-06-25T00:00:00+00:00

The ethical guidelines of some helping professions prohibit dating relationships for a minimum of two years following the time when the two had a professional relationship, and then only if the professional contact was limited, extremely brief, and occurred at a time when the client was not particularly vulnerable.2 Careful review of these issues is required and standards of practice on this issue are evolving. Clergy are advised to document their concerns, to consult clergy colleagues, and to inform superintendents or other judicatory staff when questions arise.

Changing Times

Congregations have been lenient in the area of single clergy relationships with parishioners because they have not acknowledged the power imbalance between a minister (lay or clergy) and a member of a congregation. Whether the pastor is counseling the parishioner or not, the role of spiritual leader, clergy or lay, has within it a professional standard not unlike that of doctor, psychologist, and teacher. All of these professions have ethical codes prohibiting romantic and dating relationships between these professionals and the people they serve.

These comments are in no way intended to place blame or bring shame on pastors who in the past have dated and married parishioners. The desire of a pastor to date an active member of the faith is understandable. Many of those relationships developed in the absence of policies, training, and ethical guidelines. Congregations have been notoriously inclined to assist the pastor in finding an appropriate spouse within the congregation.

At one time it was expected that pastors be married when they arrived at congregations, although they had been prohibited from dating when they were seminarians, and a pastor who arrived without a wife was expected to find one in the congregation pronto! In fact, in the late 1940s, a pastor in a small-town church was run out of town for not dating the most eligible and rich widow whom his congregation had chosen for him!

Even today, congregations love to meddle in and gossip about a single pastor's affairs. Congregations need to discuss this dynamic within broader discussions about the establishment of professional and ethical guidelines. We need an educated pool of clergy, lay staff, and volunteer leaders who understand the dangers inherent in dating relationships and the possibility of lawsuits related to sexual harassment. We need to educate clergy, staff, volunteers, and members of the congregation about ethical boundaries through policy statements, articles in newsletters, and workshops.

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