Instant Regret (Loose Lips Sink Ships Book 2) by E.M. Lindsey

Instant Regret (Loose Lips Sink Ships Book 2) by E.M. Lindsey

Author:E.M. Lindsey [Lindsey, E.M.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2022-12-13T16:00:00+00:00


Chapter 8

I woke Christmas morning with my phone on my chest.

Tapping the screen, the voiceover told me that at some point during the night, the call had disconnected, but I took comfort in two things: the first being that Jules was falling in love with me. Whatever the hell it was I was feeling—whatever we were creating through that wall—he was part of it. I wasn’t alone.

The second: I could give him something I had never been able to give partners in the past.

My relationships had always been very short lived. Usually, it was lack of patience on my part and the unwillingness I had to let anyone past my little self-imposed barriers. I didn’t like sharing. I didn’t want anyone invading my space. The first time one of the women I was sleeping with swanned around one of my art showings like she had some part in the work I created, I told myself never again.

I ended it with her that night, unmoved by her tears, frustrated by her lack of understanding about where I was coming from. She hated me. She called me cruel and selfish and cold—and at the time, it was true.

I didn’t know how to be anything to her except an occasional hookup. I didn’t know how to love anyone the way they needed to be loved. It was like walking around in a foreign country with no ability to speak the language.

I could get by on universal slang and smiles—the bare minimum to survive—but there was no communication. Nothing beyond the surface.

For years, I felt like a heartless bastard with no motivation to change it.

Now, as I realized I was tripping and falling head over heels for someone who I hadn’t even touched yet, I realized I just been in all the right places at all the wrong times.

I came to realize, after listening to Jules fall apart that first night he let himself be vulnerable with me, that until that moment, I had never actually experienced regret. Not real regret. Jules made me want to tear apart the space-time continuum so I could crawl back to the moment I decided to hurt him and smack myself across the face.

Because God, how could I not have realized the gift being given to me the second his things were moved in.

I debated about sending him a text, and in the end, I did. I wished him a merry Christmas, then dragged myself out of bed and into the little en suite bathroom my parents had never changed. I didn’t bother with the lights since they didn’t make a difference and even the sliver of brightness coming from the bulbs above the mirror would kill my head after all the narcotics pumped into me via IV.

For half a second, I debated about a shower, then I tried to reach for my dick with my left hand and realized I couldn’t move it. It was still wrapped tightly in all the bandages, and it smelled like that sticky medical tape shit and something like iodine.



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