Grace in Strange Disguise by Christine Dillon

Author:Christine Dillon
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780648129615
Publisher: Links in the Chain Press

22

Two days later, Esther crawled into the bathroom. Even after emptying her stomach she continued to kneel on the floor and clutch the toilet bowl. The tiles were cold and hard and the pine-fresh deodoriser failed to mask the acrid smell of vomit.

This was the pits.

After twenty minutes, her knees were going numb. She stood up warily. Head woozy, she reached out a trembling hand, shuffled over to the bath and splashed cold water over her head. The bottom of the bath filled with clumps of hair. Esther sank back to the floor, put her head down on the edge of the bath, and cried.

Double pits. Triple pits. The hair moved towards the plughole and spun round and round before clogging up the hole. Esther sniffed.

How could such insignificant things as strands of hair mean so much? Their loss was far out of proportion to their weight. She reached down and scooped out the hair to allow the rest of the water to drain. Tossing the heavy clump towards the bin started her crying again.

How many long minutes passed before she heard her mother’s steps coming up the hallway?

“Are you alright? We didn’t wait for you for breakfast.”

“Come in.” Esther lurched to her feet.

Her mother took one look at Esther’s head and blotchy face. “Honey, oh honey. I’m so sorry.”

Esther sat on the edge of the bath and welcomed her mother’s hug. “I thought I was prepared —but I’m not. I feel gross. Look at me … hair all scraggly, like moths have attacked me.” She felt ugly. And Nick was about to leave her and go to Melbourne. This wouldn’t be a nice look to leave him with.

Blanche hugged Esther and stroked her back. Oh, the comfort of her mother’s arms. Arms that had seldom hugged her in the past. If only she could stay here forever, stilled by the reassuring sound of Mum’s heartbeat.

Esther sniffed again and broke out of the hug. “Mum, I’m going to have a shower. Maybe the rest will fall out. Better it all goes than to have ragged clumps.”

“Can I do anything to help?”

If only her mother could wave a magic wand and reattach every strand of hair. But magic wands were for little girls. Now Esther lived in the harsh grown-up land where mothers were no longer all-powerful, and requests had to be more mundane.

“Would you put my comfy jeans and checked shirt on the bed and find that headscarf we bought?” The breakfast things were probably still on the table. “Sorry about breakfast. I’ll only be able to manage some dry toast with a scraping of Vegemite.”

“I’ll bring it up to your room. Your father’s already gone to work, so it’s only the two of us.” Blanche kissed Esther’s cheek and headed out the door.

Esther tripped over the lip of the shower cubicle and nearly hit her head on the opposite wall. Knocking herself out would top the day off.

Turning the tap on seemed to release her tears too. She cried and she cried and she cried.

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