Anna's Guide to Getting Even by Laura Heffernan

Author:Laura Heffernan [Heffernan, Laura]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Empress Books
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

~ * ~

On January 2, I started making calls. The first lawyer told me I should be ashamed of myself for allowing nude pictures of myself into the world. As if the act of creating the pictures and sending them to my boyfriend mean I deserved to have them blasted on the internet. I called him a “close-minded, Puritan asshole” and hung up. When the second lawyer asked if I’d voluntarily posed for the pictures, I hung up on her, too. The third lawyer on my list was too busy to take on new clients; a fourth wanted a hundred-thousand-dollar retainer upfront. On and on it went. Call after call, no one would take my case.

I dialed an unfamiliar number for the twenty-third time, wondering if I should expect derision, amusement, or flat out disinterest.

“Meili Chang’s Office. Meili speaking.”

“Hi, Meili. My name is Anna. My ex posted nude pictures of me on the internet.”

“Oh, my goodness! That’s awful.” Wonder mingled with horror in her voice. Not derision, not amusement, no hint of laughter.

Her response encouraged me. The entire story spilled out: the hurricane, the pictures, getting fired, and breaking up with Jay. Taking “happy” pills that made me do horribly uncharacteristic things. My suicide attempt. She didn’t utter a word of judgment. Nothing but a few sounds of sympathy and “go on”s.

When I finished, she didn’t speak for so long, I wondered if she’d hung up. Maybe I’d poured my soul out to an empty void. Fitting. I cursed myself for telling her too much, too soon.

Then Meili spoke, her voice hardened. “I’ve got two words for you, Anna: Punitive. Damages. We’re going to make him pay. How did this happen? Tell me everything.”

I went back to the beginning of our relationship. When I got to the part about how the pictures came into existence, I stumbled a bit. She didn’t interrupt or cluck her tongue or blame me, so my voice grew stronger as I continued.

When I finished describing my first date with Jay, Meili remained silent on the other end of the phone for so long, I wondered if my phone had dropped the call.

“Oh, Anna,” she said finally. “Is Eric aware of when you and Jay started dating?”

“I’m not sure. We exchanged some awkward emails about whether he was ever coming back and if we should continue our relationship. Eric said all the right things, but he wouldn’t follow through on any of them. I got tired of feeling like the whole relationship was an illusion, and I was the only person dumb enough to think he was coming back.”

“I can understand that. What did you do?”

“Our emails tapered off. I stopped initiating them, which made me realize that I’d been the first to send for several months. Then I met Jay, who seemed so sincere, funny—and present. I didn’t want an online boyfriend anymore. A week later, I emailed Eric to tell him I moved out of our apartment. I said trying to maintain a relationship while he was thousands of miles away, with no phone and limited internet access, wasn’t working.

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