Acid by Ed Falco

Author:Ed Falco [Falco, Ed]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781483533469
Publisher: BookBaby
Published: 2014-12-15T00:00:00+00:00

TESTS

I couldn't see why it should be me. She's the one dumped a full ashtray on me when I was undressed and sweaty, and I'm the one had to lean over her sink washing ashes and junk out of delicate places. Then James walked in, it was the middle of the night, the kid's ten years old, sees me like that, the sink full of sooty water, and I can't imagine what he thought. His mouth was hanging open as if he'd just walked in on Count Dracula relieving himself in the bathroom sink. And I was the one supposed to apologize. Plus, I was thinking at the time that all my worrying was already killing me and I didn't need her adding one more thing.

I was on my way to the hospital for tests, thinking about all this. A Thursday morning, mid-May, Southwest Virginia--and it's snowing. A few days before, the temperature was in the 80s. I'm driving to the hospital on a four-lane blacktop and mist is rising up off the pavement. It swirls around in thin lines. Every once in a while the sun breaks through and then the snow looks like dust motes caught in sunlight.

Molly wanted me to apologize because I lit up a cigarette right after we made love, and she said I didn't look at her the whole time or after.

I did.

I remember I looked at her once but she had her eyes closed. When I told her that, that's when she dumped the ashtray on me--which I think went too far. I was a terrible mess then, more crazy than sane, though of course nobody knew it--not my friends, my family, nobody. That's the way I am. Or that's the way I was. I don't know. But then, for sure. I tried to keep my relationships superficial. Molly claimed that anyone who knew me even remotely knew I was a mess. She thought it was funny that I thought no one knew. If they did, they didn't do anything about it. I could go weeks without a phone call. That included family. Even thinking back to those years makes me nervous.

On Tuesday night after the argument, I had an attack of something that kept me up the whole night. It started out like one of my normal stomach aches that I'd get regularly. They'd usually wake me up in the middle of the night and last a few hours before I could go back to sleep. I wrote them off to stress, nerves, who knows what--nothing serious though. But this one wouldn't quit. It lasted all night and into the morning. I drank dose after dose of Pepto-Bismol, went out driving to get my mind off it, took hot showers to relax. Nothing worked. By 7 A.M. I was at the doctor's, in line with all the allergy sufferers getting their morning shots. That's when I was told it might be an ulcer and to show up for tests on Thursday.

At that point I hadn't seen Molly for a few days already.

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