2Do Before I Die by Michael Ogden & Chris Day

Author:Michael Ogden & Chris Day [OGDEN, MICHAEL]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780316076661
Publisher: Little, Brown and Company
Published: 2009-06-27T00:00:00+00:00

49. Mentor a child

Graham, 20, Indianapolis

We met for the first time in a cramped, noisy daycare room. The room smelled like kids: peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, playground dirt, craft glue, and crayons. At nearly six-and-a-half feet tall, I towered above most of the elementary school children and immediately attracted a band of followers, curious about my name, my age, and especially my height.

All these little greeters enthusiastically showed me around their after-school home: the daycare center for the children of residents or former residents of the Rise. The Rise is an intermediate housing facility in Indiana for women and children who are victims of domestic violence.

To the Rise, I am part of their effort to stop the cycle of domestic violence that starts when children are raised in abusive homes. Their belief is that with a positive role model in addition to good parenting, a child can learn good study habits and make healthy lifestyle choices. I had been looking to get more involved in the local community at college and mentoring at the Rise seemed like an excellent opportunity.

After the grand tour from two eight-year-old girls, a daycare worker came and greeted me. I told her my name and that I had come to meet my “mentee.”

Immediately, a young boy, who had been eyeing me the entire time from across the room, came and tugged on my trousers. The boy, eight years old, short, with glasses and a warm voice, was Charlie. He had been waiting all day to meet me. And he wasted no time asking questions, wanting to know every detail about my life. He was smarter and more conversational than I remember being at his age.

I had been nervous waiting to meet him. While I had been trained how to talk with children about domestic violence and identify the signs of new violence in the home, one can’t be trained to develop a meaningful relationship with a child.

I hoped we would get along. But any initial doubts were gone after, having only just met me, Charlie gave me the sort of hug a child would give a father.

After meeting Charlie, I met his mother: a strong woman. She moved to Indiana to escape an abusive relationship, taking her four young children with her. The mother and I agreed Charlie and I were a good match, and from that point on, I was his mentor.

To Charlie, I am just a friend, someone he can trust and especially someone he can have fun with. After the first week picking up Charlie from school, hanging out with him, getting to know him, playing basketball or football with him, I was no longer scared about my new responsibility. Charlie did not expect me to drastically change his life. He did not see himself as a statistic or a figure in a column, as the Rise and especially the government does. He just wants to be a kid, and he makes sure whenever we get together, we have lots of fun.

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