Who is Carrie? by James Lincoln Collier

Author:James Lincoln Collier [Collier, James Lincoln and Collier, Christopher]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: General Fiction
Publisher: AudioGO

10

WELL, HIS EYEBROWS shot up and his jaw dropped and he stood there staring at me. Everybody else got up and gathered around and stared, too. I blushed as hot as could be. My head was emptied out clean. I couldn’t think of nothing to do but curtsy, which was a mistake, because there wasn’t no room to curtsy inside a grandfather clock and when I done it I banged against the works and made the bell clang. So I jumped out of the clock and tried it again, and done it better this time, at least as good as I could without no training. Everybody laughed.

But George Washington didn’t see anything funny in it. He went on staring at me grim and solemn, his mouth straight as a ruler. I was covered with sweat and wanted to wipe it away, but didn’t dare for fear of being rude. So in a low, whispery voice, I said, “I didn’t mean nothing, sir,” which wasn’t much to say, but all I could think of with my head empty. I knew that Mr. Fraunces was there somewhere.

That got the President’s tongue loose. “And what did you think you were doing in there?”

The truth was that I was spying, but I wasn’t going to say that, for spying was a hanging offense. I needed a believable lie. Horace always said that the way to make a lie believable was to make yourself come out of it looking low and foolish. He said that if you told a lie that shined you up, nobody would believe it, even if it was true.

So I said, “Sir, them kitchen niggers told me that there was an owl in the clock who was trained to go whoo-whoo to tell the hours.” Some of the ones standing around began to giggle, and that encouraged me to go on. “Well, I come out to oil the case like I always done, and my curiosity got going, and going, and blamed if I could help myself—I just had to see the owl.”

Well, they just roared with laughter. I blushed, which I wasn’t having no trouble doing anyways. The President, he didn’t laugh, but went on staring at me with that mouth of his like a ruler, and the others shut up. Finally he said, “That’s the stupidest thing I ever heard.”

I began to wonder if I was making myself too low and foolish. But it was too late to go back, so I said, “I reckon it is, sir. It’s about the stupidest thing I ever heard of, too.”

“I’m glad to hear you admit it.”

“Yes, sir,” I said. “And just when I got inside and was looking around for the owl, everybody come in for dinner and I was stuck.”

They all started giggling again. “Stuck?”

“Yes, sir,” I said. “I dassn’t come out because I wasn’t dressed proper for no dinner party.”

Well, they roared so they could hardly stand up. The men bent over and slapped themselves and laughed till they

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