When Everything Feels like the Movies by Raziel Reid

Author:Raziel Reid [Reid, Raziel]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781551525754
Publisher: Arsenal Pulp Press
Published: 2014-11-17T14:00:00+00:00

12

Sunset Boulevard

I woke up the next morning and rolled to my side, facing my tattered Marilyn picture. I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me, like I was still tripping or something, because there was a tear streaking down her face. It took me a minute to realize that I’d left my window open and melted snow had dripped onto the picture. The tear fit, somehow, like it had always been there. Like the photo was taken right after she’d been raped by a studio exec.

A glance in the mirror showed me that I looked like my mom when she came home from work, her makeup worn off with sweat and dark circles under her misty eyes. I used to wake up every morning when she came home. I’d hear the door creak open and slip out of bed to make sure that it was her. I knew that it would be, but I still had to check. She started to leave me alone some nights, before Ray moved in and Keef was born. Usually Ray would crash at our place, but if he pulled a Houdini, she’d have no choice. She never told me, but I’d wake up, and the house would be empty. I would get out of bed and make sure the door was locked and then crawl under my covers. It would take forever to fall back asleep because every noise would scare me. I usually just stayed awake until I heard her come home. As soon as she walked in, she would flop down on the couch, exhausted. I’d get out of bed and cuddle next to her. She’d run her acrylic nails through my hair, and I’d rest my head on her shoulder, which always smelled like beer and perfume.

“Did you hit the jackpot?” I’d ask, because sometimes we would pretend that she was a Vegas showgirl and we lived in the penthouse of The Mirage.

“They tip me like I’m Nomi Malone,” she said, resting her head against mine, “even when I try to be Martha Graham.”

As I was watching the drop of water slide down Marilyn’s cheek, I remembered I had a joint somewhere and ransacked my nightstand drawer to find it. I got Stoned stoned with me by blowing smoke in her face. She could be so petulant when I didn’t share.

Once I was high, I showered and dragged myself to school for second period, which was gym. Angela wasn’t around (her Twitter said she was at Trey’s “consummating and watching Girls”), so I had to sit on the sidelines alone in gym.

When I started to feel too exposed to the paparazzi, I ducked into the change room. I checked out my reflection in one of the mirrors before finding a stall to hide out in. The swelling had gone down on my nose, but I was convinced that it was crooked and that I’d need a nose job, which I was kind of excited about because I was sure it’d get me tons of press.

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