What Unbreakable Looks Like by Kate McLaughlin

Author:Kate McLaughlin [McLaughlin, Kate]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: St. Martin's Publishing Group
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

chapter thirteen

“What’s your name?” the new girl whispered in the dark. Mitch told us her name was Ivy. It was early morning and we could finally go to sleep. Sleep was escape, and I looked forward to it every day. I only wanted to slip away.

She had stopped crying. Daisy threatened to kick her ass if she didn’t. Maybe she’d stop talking next.

“Poppy,” I replied.

“No. Your real name.”

I hesitated. “Alexa.”

She took my hand, her fingers soft and cool. She was still in my bed, and probably would be until Mitch got her a room. “I’m Jaime.”

“New girl,” came Daisy’s voice like a blade in the dark, “your damn name is Ivy. Ain’t nobody here cares who you were before. You don’t exist no more, understand?”

Something hot and wet fell on my shoulder. She was crying again. “Shut up, Daze,” I said. I’d taken some pills before bed and my voice sounded faraway to my own ears.

She grunted. I squeezed Jaime’s—Ivy’s—hand. For a second, I thought about touching her. Maybe if I showed her kindness, made her come, she’d settle down and accept her fate. And maybe she’d give me something in return, make me forget.

But I didn’t really like girls, and I was so damn tired.

“Jaime’s a nice name.” Maybe I liked it because it was sort of like mine—unisex. People used to call me Alex all the time, leaving off the final a.

The mellow I was feeling took the thought further. What would it be like to be a guy? To never have to worry about someone fucking you? Someone hurting you? What would it be like to know you could walk somewhere late at night? To not have to flinch from the breath of the guy panting in your face? There were guys in the life, I wasn’t so naive that I didn’t know this, but there weren’t as many of them. And guys could still put up a decent fight.

Fingertips tickled my palm. “How long have you been here?”

“New girl—”

“Jesus Christ, Daze!” I yelled. “Put your fucking headphones on and shut the fuck up! The girl needs to talk, let her talk.”

Daisy was the closest Mitch had to a top girl. No one talked back to her when she got pissed, not even Violet. Mitch listened to her, and no one wanted trouble with Mitch. I didn’t want trouble either, but Daisy being a cow reminded me of what she’d been like when I’d been the new girl, and I didn’t want Jaime to feel alone like I had.

Daisy grunted, but she didn’t come at me. Maybe there was some compassion left in her after all.

“I don’t know,” I replied. “Months.” At least six because I was due for another pap smear soon. Mitch had a “doctor” who came in twice a year to examine us. We were tested for HIV and HPV too. All that good stuff. After, the doc chose which one of us he wanted as payment—usually whoever had the best checkup.

She sniffed. “I’m never going to see my family again, am I?”

“Probably not.

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