What Do I Do When...? by Mendler Allen;

Author:Mendler, Allen;
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Solution Tree Press
Published: 2007-08-15T00:00:00+00:00

* My thanks to the teacher who prepared this examination, and my regrets for having misplaced her name so that I cannot properly credit her for her work.

5 Dealing With Power Struggles

Prevention is the most effective form of discipline. We have found over and over that those teachers who attend to the basic needs that drive behavior, and build their classrooms in need-satisfying ways, have fewer discipline problems throughout the year. Even in the best of circumstances, there are children who test the limits, and are uncooperative and unmoved, despite your best efforts. In most instances, when rules are broken, the best way of responding is with privacy, eye contact, and proximity (P.E.P.). If the teacher is close, quiet, and direct, most children will readily accept a consequence. When a child will not, however, I have found de-escalation the best way of dealing with this.

While there are no ready-made steps or exact sequences by which to measure your response, a sequence similar to the following may help you frame a reasonably comfortable way of dealing with these moments. Most of us can become easily unnerved and quickly angered when children challenge our authority in front of the class. These “What are you going to do about it?” moments can be tense and uncertain. We all need short-term, effective, and dignified things to say and do when a student becomes challenging or simply refuses to accept a reasonable consequence.

Let us assume that Luis is a student in Mrs. Hernandez’s class. He has been talking when others are talking and has been playfully slapping Henry in the head, disrupting Henry’s learning and Mrs. Hernandez’s teaching, as well as distracting others. Mrs. Hernandez has reminded and warned to no avail. She decides that planning might be an effective consequence and delivers this consequence with P.E.P. She tells Luis, “I’ll see you after school today so that we can work together on a plan to stop hitting and to raise your hand when you want to be recognized.”

Luis says loudly so that many in the class hear, “I can’t come today after school. I’m busy.”

This scenario represents the first moves in a no-win power struggle. Most teachers, when faced with a student’s defiance, either escalate the stakes or withdraw. Neither of these options is either dignified or effective. Let us see why.

If Mrs. Hernandez says, “You’re staying. You should have thought about that before you broke the rules for the fifth time today,” Luis has two choices: 1) He can back down and yield, and feel resentful in the process. This choice probably will make him look for another opportunity to attack, perhaps more sneakily. 2) He can decide to further the challenge by whispering under his breath or by brazenly continuing with a “Try and make me” frontal assault. If the challenge continues, it will escalate rapidly and result in a visit to the principal’s office. Neither side has won because unless it is June, there is always later today, tomorrow, or next week when that student will be back.

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