We Still Belong by Christine Day

Author:Christine Day
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: HarperCollins
Published: 2023-05-04T00:00:00+00:00

29

After Hanan leaves and the bus pulls forward again, I feel the weight of this entire day settle over me. Crushing me.

I draw my legs up, placing my feet on the vinyl seat, hugging my knees against my chest. I sniffle and stare out the window, feeling lonely and uncertain. I try to hold the warmth of Hanan’s words in my heart, but without my best friend here beside me, coldness creeps in.

When we reach my stop, I carry my viola down the aisle, thank the driver as I always do, and step out into the surprising heat of a golden autumn afternoon. But even with my sweatshirt tied around my waist, and the sunlight drenching my surroundings, the coldness follows me all the way home.

There are no cars outside Grandpa’s house, which is wildly unusual. But it’s also nice, because it means that no one is here to notice as I march straight down the driveway and around to the side of the house, where we keep our waste collection bins. I unzip my backpack, flip my binder open, remove the card that I made for Ryan—and drop it straight into the recycling bin. Then, for good measure, I crumple up both copies of the school newspaper and dump them in, too.

I’m pretty sure no one aside from Hanan and Mr. Holt and Ms. Roux read my column, anyway.

My face feels overheated. My stomach writhes with squeamishness. I let my backpack and viola case clatter to the floor, kick my shoes off by the overflowing shoe rack, and go collapse on the couch. I reach for my console controller, the remote control—all I want right now is to do a few quests in Spacefaring Wanderers and try to forget about it. All of it.

The TV screen brightens. There is a swell of soothing music as the lobby menu loads, filling the screen with stars and galaxy swirls, and rippling shades of purple and indigo and blue. I open the map, revealing a collection of colorful planets, the dashed rings of their orbits. They almost remind me of beads on bracelets, which of course makes me think of Ryan, which then makes my eyes burn and my breath hitch unevenly in my chest.

I choose the desert planet.

My spaceship touches down in a sea of pink-gold sand dunes, beside a small alien village. The locals have cactus-green skin and tower over my avatar in height. I run around their huts, haggling over prices, chatting with them to solve riddles and unlock side quests.

Vader sneaks up and hops onto the couch. He hovers by my feet, his green eyes wide and shoulders slightly hunched, his tail in the shape of a question mark. I pause the game and hold my hand out to him, wiggling my fingers. He pauses too, assessing me for a moment before he hurries forward, trotting across my legs to push his forehead to my fingertips.

“Hey,” I say. “I missed you, boy. I missed you so much.”

He purrs in response, deep and resonant, as he peers up at me with squinty eyes.

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