The Way We Fall by Crewe Megan

Author:Crewe, Megan [Crewe, Megan]
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Tags: Fiction - Young Adult
Publisher: Disney
Published: 2012-01-24T05:00:00+00:00

Leo, if somehow you’re reading this, if you’ve come back and you were trying to figure out what happened and you found this journal, burn it. Burn it now. I’ve just coughed on it and I’ve been breathing on it, and the virus is probably crawling all over every page.

It’s not like I’ll have time to write much more anyway.

You know how people in books and movies make deathbed confessions? They realize they’re about to go, and they just have to get those long-held secrets out while they still can.

I’ve been thinking about that, since I don’t have a whole lot to do other than think—and cough and sneeze and try not to scratch any one spot too much. Dad offered to keep me company the way he did with Mom, said we could play cards or something. But every time I look into his eyes it’s like I can see his heart breaking no matter what face he puts on, and it reminds me of what’s going to happen to me, and mine breaks too. I know he wants to be with Mom at the hospital, and doing more research, and a lot of things more important than playing cards. So I told him I’d rather be by myself, and he’s mostly let me.

At least his meds are helping keep the fever down. And he must have given me something to help me stay calm. I feel a little woozy. Like I’m not totally here.

But, getting to the point, I was wondering whether there was anything I should tell Dad, or Drew, or Meredith, before I can’t control what I’m saying anymore. And there isn’t. Not that I’ve been totally honest with them my whole life, but I haven’t hidden anything big.

The only real secret I’ve kept has to do with you, Leo. I’ve been holding on to it so long, I haven’t even wanted to write it down. But I might not get another chance.

It happened the summer I was fourteen, before I started high school in Toronto, before we had our fight and stopped talking. Dad and Mom and Drew and I were visiting the island for a week, like we had every July after we moved. The last day of the trip, you came over and we went down to West Beach, eating homemade blueberry ice cream from the Camerons’ shop and ambling along the sand. A totally normal day.

Around dinnertime, I said I should head back. As we were walking down the street, there was a kid riding his bike up and down the road, the training wheels rattling away. I wonder if you even remember that?

He passed us a couple times, and then he braked a little ways ahead of us and narrowed his eyes.

“I’ve seen you around before,” he said to you. “Shouldn’t you be living in China?”

He hadn’t even looked at me, but I stiffened up right away. You just cocked your head and shrugged.

“Nah,” you said, like it was no big deal, and held up a finger.

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