The Top of Her Game by Emma Holly

Author:Emma Holly [Emma Holly]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Ebury Publishing
Published: 2013-02-18T00:00:00+00:00

8

Sunday morning

SHE WOKE BEFORE dawn. Marty lay beside her in the double bed. She’d assumed he’d snore, but he slept as peacefully as a child. What was that like, she wondered: to see what you wanted and feel justified in taking it, to harbour no regrets, no second thoughts?

She eased out from under the covers and pulled on a robe. The room was warm. The power must have come on again. She padded to the window. The snow still fell, but gently now. In the pre-dawn light she saw drifts reaching past the sill. No way in hell would they make their scheduled noon flight.

I’m glad, she thought, facing the weakness. So much remained unsettled: Zach, Carolyn, the DMI traitor, her life. She knew she wanted to part ways with Durbin, but what about her life as a dominatrix? Did she, as Marty claimed, believe those games were wrong? And if she did, was she capable of leaving them behind? Even now, a corner of her mind was juggling the possibilities, intrigued by the thought of initiating Marty and Carolyn together. Those two had an interesting dynamic. She was sure she could use it to advantage, if she chose.

‘What do you want?’ she whispered, a hiss as soft as the falling snow. ‘Who do you want to be?’

That was the heart of it. Who did she want to be? One thing was clear. She couldn’t be who she’d been with Durbin. That door had closed. But which would open? Was the answer taking a new partner, one she liked and respected, one she could be tender with? Tender. She cast her eyes to heaven. Did she even know how?

She thought of Zach’s beloved horse, the one that snapped at her every time she went near it. The mare seemed to know hers was not a gentle spirit. On the other hand, the animal’s rejection had hurt her. Surely she couldn’t be hurt if she didn’t have a heart, and if she had a heart, she could learn to be tender.

She clasped her hands at her waist. She could learn, and she would. What’s more, she would begin today.

Zach walked in around the dozenth time the horse nipped her hand. She spun around, then spun back again, her eyes brimming with tears of frustration. ‘I’m sorry. I thought she’d get used to me. I didn’t mean to upset her.’

Zach chuckled and emptied his bucket into Starlight’s manger. The mare immediately fell to it. ‘A full stomach might improve her disposition,’ he said, seeing to the colt as well, ‘but it wouldn’t hurt to learn how horses think.’

‘Obviously, they don’t think much of me.’ Her voice was too sharp. She blinked hard, her vision swimming.

‘Hey, hey.’ Zach set his bucket down and wrapped his arm around her shoulder. The embrace felt good, too good, but she couldn’t bring herself to move away. ‘Horses sometimes dislike a person for no good reason. They don’t fancy their perfume or their voice, and they get jealous, too.

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