The Retreat (New York Gods Book 2) by Andi Jaxon & J.R. Gray

Author:Andi Jaxon & J.R. Gray [Jaxon, Andi & Gray, J.R.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2024-09-04T00:00:00+00:00

TWENTY-THREE

Owen

“Owen, it’s so great to be able to sit down with you.”

I smile tightly and nod.

Remember to act like a person—remember to act like a person—I panic.

What does a person act like? My publicist said I should act like a person. But I need more information than that. And now I’m sitting with an interviewer, and I don’t have any fucking information.

The interviewer is smiling at me expectantly, and I remember acting like a person requires replying to her.

“Hi. So glad I could too.” I force the most awkward smile onto my face. I probably look like a fucking sim.

“You seem to be a little nervous, Owen.”

“I am nervous.” The words come out harsh.

“What’s making you nervous?” she presses, leaning in like she’s filled with compassion and not a shark wanting to expose me.

“I’m a bit of an anxiously, depressed introvert, so being interviewed on camera is not my favorite place to be.” Why did I just say that? What the hell is wrong with me?

“We expect a lot of anxiety. I don’t think most athletes are natural at this.” She’s lying.

I’ve seen Michael Phelps do these. Man is as smooth as fucking butter. Here I am like static electricity. A blanket that just came out of the dryer.

“I’m sure it’s some people’s strength, but it’s not one of mine.”

“Well, we’ll treat this like a conversation.”

That sounded fucking worse. I don’t have any friends. Do people even like me? I only talk to my brother and my fake husband.

I realize I haven’t replied again when she blinks aggressively at me. “That sounds great.”

“You’re the new addition to the men’s national fencing team. How does that feel?” She pivots, and I breathe a sigh of relief.

“Feels pretty good. I’m excited about being with the team, and our tournaments coming up.” Maybe I can do this. This line of questioning feels okay.

“I’ve heard wonderful things. That you’ve been on the coach’s radar for a while, so when he took over the national team, he was super excited to invite you to the team.”

“I’m proud to be given the chance to represent the United States. It’s such an amazing honor.”

“If you don’t mind switching directions, let’s talk about you being the first openly gay male fencer.”

I swallow. Here it is.

Listen, at least I’ve had some gay sex now, but I still don’t feel like that made me the poster boy for gay male fencer. At most, it makes me the poster boy for confused.

“Sure,” I say, because what else can I?

“I’m sure there are so many queer kids who are looking up to you. How does it feel to be a role model?”

“No little kid should be looking up to me.” I shut my mouth. Fuck! Why do I speak? I’ve got to make it better. I clear my throat and put my words together before speaking so I don’t fuck this up again. “I don’t think it’s really anyone’s place to make athletes or movie stars, or anyone in the spotlight, a role model, and someone for little kids to look up to.

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