The Resolution for Men by Stephen Kendrick

Author:Stephen Kendrick
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Tags: Religion, Men's Issues, Christian Life, Family, General
ISBN: 9781433671227
Publisher: B&H Books
Published: 2011-09-01T04:00:00+00:00

Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; the rod of correction will drive it far from him. (Proverbs 22:15 NKJV)

The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child who gets his own way brings shame to his mother. . . . Correct your son, and he will give you comfort; he will give delight to your heart. (Proverbs 29:15, 17)

A loving spanking doesn’t warp a child; it humbles them and helps them behave. Our culture may frown on the spanking of children. But the culture is not your authority—God is. And His Word says it’s better that they experience the brief physical sting of a spanking for a few seconds than to grow up without an understanding of consequences throughout their lives. Our prisons are full of men and women who would trade their punishment for a child’s spanking any day. If children learn to talk their way out of receiving discipline by crying, negotiating, or manipulating, they will learn to do it all the more as an adult.

And the more they do it, the less they will respect you or any other authority—the less honorable they will become. Ultimately this “fearless” view of authority will damage their image of God, the righteous Judge, who will not tolerate negotiating or manipulation on Judgment Day. By not disciplining them, we do our children a disservice by indirectly teaching them to dishonor God.

For physical discipline, the “rod” actually means a reed-like item for spanking, not a large weapon that could cause bodily injury. You should never strike your children in the face or head, and never with a closed fist—on any part of their body—which would amount to child abuse. Instead a spanking is most appropriately applied to their rear end. A spanking should cause enough of a short sting to get the job done but never to wound a child physically or emotionally long-term. Discipline is not intended for a child’s “destruction” (Proverbs 19:18) but rather for his or her good. It’s ultimately an act of love.

But a father should not discipline his child whenever he is in a rage or displaying uncontrolled anger. If you’re extremely angry, send your child to another room until you can calm yourself down. Don’t discipline until you’re emotionally under control. Your kids should always know that when you discipline them, your desire is to lovingly help them learn right from wrong, to help them make better decisions in the future, not to harm them.

Always clarify first with your child exactly what happened and why any potential discipline may be necessary. Help them see their situation from God’s perspective, not just yours. If you choose to spank them, then leave the room afterward for a few minutes, and let them have time to cry privately and think about what they’ve done. Take this time yourself to pray for God to give them wisdom and a repentant heart.

After a few minutes, go back in and embrace them and comfort them. Tenderly remind them again why you needed to discipline them.

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