The Puppet King and Other Atonements by Justin a Burnett

Author:Justin a Burnett [Burnett, Justin a]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Trepidatio Publishing, an imprint of JournalStone
Published: 2022-06-19T04:00:00+00:00

m.Other

I’M TALKING TOO much. I’m always disturbed by how easily I slip back into this stream of chatter, rushing forward with the urgency of a discreetly sublimated anxiety. It’s unprofessional, an open display of my own lack, a naked request for love. It wouldn’t be so bad if I could terminate the transgression once I notice it. But somehow, I can’t.

“Your father,” I tell the blonde woman, facing away from me on the couch, “idolized your mother because he developed a conscious sexual attraction to his own mother at a young age, which triggered a vigorous repression at the implementation of the castration complex and corresponding incest taboo.”

I’m horrified at the words—horrified at the pleasure I take in their articulation. Their lack of therapeutic necessity sickens me. “Soon after, to be sure, he learned where babies come from. His mother fell from grace in his eyes—from a chaste saint one moment to a whore the next. He probably exhibited infantile signs of aggression, including pronounced regressions in which he attempted to revive the state of lost innocence.”

I know this is an open abuse of my position, this showboating. But, of course, the woman enjoys it. They always do. This is what they imagine they have come here for. They expect omniscience from me. They need me to unveil the invisible secrets of human behavior in a stunning display of intellectual acumen. How are they to know that these cheap “revelations” are exactly what must be withheld?

“Thus, he formulated two distinct but consistent versions of his own mother: the virgin and the whore. Neither alternative is empirically realistic. Nevertheless, his conception of women is vitally colored by this division. Your mother was a saint to him. He worshipped her, certainly, but her suffering arose from his inability to truly desire her.”

The stunningly attractive analysand nods, running her delicate hands excitedly along the cushioned contours of the couch. She turns to face me, and I smile, in no way discouraging the encounter. The situation is too damaged to repair, I tell myself. This session will cause more therapeutic harm than good. I should terminate it immediately. I should—

“That’s very impressive, Doctor,” she says in a lazy, southern drawl manicured to suggest horses and a large, spacious estate. “For the life of me, I’ve found my father impossible to understand. He often accused me of being too friendly with boys in my youth. He was very hard on me. I suppose I’ve assimilated some of his criticism, being always so devoted to my husband as I am, despite all his…shortcomings.”

Scratch a virgin… “Well,” I reply, in a concerted attempt to hide the drunken ease of self-satisfaction from my voice, “I’m glad we have been able to address that issue. It is undoubtedly a central edifice in your, as you call it, ‘castle of anxiety.’”

“Yes,” she says, smiling. She considers something carefully. A blush warms my face. Surely it’s me she is considering, for I am not an ugly man, and I know all

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.