The Iron Will of Genie Lo by F. C. Yee

Author:F. C. Yee
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Abrams
Published: 2020-01-21T00:00:00+00:00

17

“Hello Genie,” Erlang Shen said.

I ran forward and kicked him in the groin. I didn’t get as much strength into it as I would have liked, but I still managed to elevate him a couple of inches off the ground.

The other gods were slow to react, but I knew better. You couldn’t let enemies as dangerous as Erlang Shen get their footing. A word would turn into a sentence would turn into a lie, and then before you knew it you’d have flying demon bombs threatening to eradicate the nearest city. It had happened before.

Erlang Shen doubled over. “I see you’re as mild of disposition as ever,” he gasped.

I was going to grab his head and knee him in the mouth next, but a pair of burly arms held me back. “Hold on there, child,” Guan Yu said. “He’s helpless. It wouldn’t be right.”

That was easy for him to say. Guan Yu hadn’t been dicked around by Erlang Shen and his plot to conquer Heaven by using me as a weapon. I cursed Guan Yu’s stupid warrior’s code of righteousness that prevented me from tearing the traitor god apart limb from limb while he couldn’t fight back.

“What is this bullcrap?” Quentin shouted at the Great White Planet.

“I explained everything!” the Great White Planet said. “Were you not listening a moment ago?”

“This is a trick!” I said. I tried to mash my big toe into Erlang Shen’s eyeball.

“If it’s a trick, then it’s being played on me as well,” Erlang Shen said as Nezha dragged him backward, farther out of my reach. “Do I really look like I’m the one in control at the moment?”

“Everyone CALM DOWN!” Guanyin yelled.

In this case, “everyone” mostly referred to me. I stopped struggling. Guanyin motioned with her hand at the Great White Planet, indicating that he needed to take another turn speaking.

“As I made clear,” he said. “Despite my strident recommendations to the contrary, a number of influential members of the pantheon decided that the best successor to the Jade Emperor would be someone who shared his bloodline. But the Jade Emperor has no children. Erlang Shen is his next closest relation.”

“That doesn’t make any sense!” I said. “He was going to overthrow Heaven itself! He’s a traitor!”

“In the Jade Emperor’s absence, the narrative played out a little differently in the minds of the court,” the Great White Planet said, making a face at having to relive the memory. “Most of his crimes took place on Earth, far away from their sight. So it was easier for Lei Gong and the others to interpret his actions as a hero’s mistake on the way to redemption through the Mandate Challenge. After all, who better to replace the Jade Emperor than someone who’d earnestly tried once before?”

“Tamade!” Quentin shouted. “I knew they were stupid and hidebound, but not that stupid!”

“On the contrary, Erlang Shen’s backers are feeling very wise indeed.” The Great White Planet snorted. “After all, true masters of the Way find wisdom in the counterintuitive and illogical.

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