The Hitwoman and the Ninjas: A Comical Crime Caper -- Book 35 in the Confessions of a Slightly Neurotic Hitwoman series by Lynn JB

Author:Lynn, JB [Lynn, JB]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2022-12-22T06:00:00+00:00

“We’re running a charity event at The Corset.”

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Aunt Susan lift her water glass and press it against her forehead as though she wasn’t feeling well. Not that I could blame her. The idea of a lingerie and “intimate enhancements” shop and charity didn’t really seem like a match made in heaven.

“What kind of charity?” Aunt Leslie, Loretta’s twin, asked supportively.

“VD’s on V-Day,” Armani announced proudly.

I had no doubt she’d come up with the horrible name.

“What?” Poor Aunt Susan sounded like she was on the verge of having her brain explode.

“VD’s for V-Day,” Loretta confirmed with a wide smile.

Beside me, Zeke was unable to swallow the laugh that bubbled out of him.

“What’s VD’s?” Katie asked.

“Venereal diseases, dear,” Loretta told her with a patient smile for the little girl.

Her equally innocent cousin cocked her head in confusion. “What’s--?”

“Enough!” Susan thundered, jumping to her feet. “This will not be discussed at my dinner table.”

“Technically, it’s my table,” Herschel gently reminded his oldest daughter.

Susan glared at him. “We are not talking about this in front of the children. Tell them, Marlene.”

My sister looked up at her with a blank expression. “Sorry? I wasn’t paying attention.”

“Apparently, I’m the only one who cares about anything!” Susan declared, stomping off toward the living room.

“Susan!” Griswald called, jumping up to follow after her. “Don’t be like that.”

“Nobody ever likes my ideas!” Loretta wailed, wobbling out of the room on stilettos.

“Don’t cry,” Leslie called, chasing after her. “You’ll ruin your make-up.”

For a moment, the rest of us sat there in stunned silence.

“I’m hungry,” Katie announced, making it clear she was unfazed by the dramatic exits of her great-aunts.

“Should I serve, now?” Templeton asked the rest of us drily.

“You bet,” Herschel declared. “No point in letting food go to waste.”

Templeton nodded his approval and headed back into the kitchen.

“Glad you accepted the invitation to dinner?” I asked Zeke who sat beside me.

“You bet,” he said with a devilish wink.

I pushed away from the table. “I’ll help serve.”

Templeton was grating cheese over a giant bowl of pasta when I entered.

“It smells delicious,” I told him, grabbing the nearby bowl of salad.

“Pasta carbonara,” he said ruefully. “It’s one of Loretta’s favorites.”

“I’m sure Leslie will get her back to the table.”

He shrugged. “It makes for decent leftovers.” Then, he shook his head. “VD’s for V-Day.” He rolled his eyes and began to chuckle.

I couldn’t help but join him.

I was still laughing as I put the salad on the dining room table, but quickly stopped when I noted my sister was missing. “Did Marlene storm off, too?

“She got a phone call she had to take,” Zeke explained.

I frowned, wondering what was going on with my sister.

“Behind you,” Templeton warned as he came through with a huge steaming bowl of pasta.

I scooted out of the way and settled back into my seat beside Zeke.

As though lured by the delicious aroma, everyone except Marlene trooped back in.

“Smells fantastic,” Griswald said, attempting to pretend that half the diners had not abandoned the dinner table like it was the Titanic.

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