The Catholic Family Handbook: Time-Tested Techniques to Help You Strengthen Your Marriage and Raise Good Kids [CONTENT REVIEW: DO NOT PUBLISH] by Lawrence G. Lovasik

Author:Lawrence G. Lovasik
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2011-04-29T15:30:00+00:00

Respect your child's personality

Treat your children according to the differences in their age, temperament, and sex. Every child has a distinct human personality, with his own disposition and temperament, with the special characteristics of his sex. Therefore, each child needs special treatment as he advances toward maturity.

Learn the individual temperaments of your children and direct them accordingly. A moody child needs encouragement and the building up of self-confidence; an extrovert needs discipline, order, and frequent correction; a child with a tendency to want to dominate others needs praise and, at the same time, humility; a lazy child needs frequent prompting.

But all this treatment must be given with love, patience, and understanding.

You will find both hard work and joy in studying the needs of your children as individuals and trying to meet those needs. Training children means bringing out strongly the good traits of their temperament by forming these traits into habits, while endeavoring to weaken the undesirable ones. A parent who knows his children and is willing to work persistently at their formation can make a good and relatively strong character out of any temperament.

Study your children. Behavior has a reason. Oddly, it is through the continuing study and increased understanding of children that you will better understand yourself and your neighbor. If you thought about your children as you think about your work - logically and objectively - you would understand them better.

Love your children, and accept them as they are. If you want your children to grow up self-confident, able to overcome difficulties and accept disappointment, and sociable and happy in nature, you must love them for themselves and accept them as they are.

If you constantly wish they had qualities they don't have, they will grow up feeling that they have been a disappointment to you, that they are failures. They will be unable to use fully those qualities and abilities they have been given. Whatever handicaps they begin with will be increased so that, in the end, they may indeed be failures.

It does not help to let your children sense your disappointment, or to compare them with other children. A remark such as "You'll never be as good as your sister" can be very hurtful. Much jealousy and ill-feeling in families, bad behavior, and poor work in school can be traced to the resentment and settled feelings of inferiority that develop in a child told repeatedly that he will never be as good as someone else.

It can be damaging to children to be social outcasts or to be last all the time. Your job is to help your children to become good at something, by understanding their strengths and their weaknesses. As a parent, you are the strength that provides for the weakness of your children until they are able to supply for themselves some of the physical things they need. Your strength should always give a sense of security to your growing children and firmly direct them in the way they should go.

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