The Case of the Red Rubber Ball by John R. Erickson

Author:John R. Erickson [Erickson, John R.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Maverick Books, Inc.
Published: 2020-10-21T05:00:00+00:00

He shoved me away. “Quit!” At the same moment, I heard a voice behind me.

“Slim Chance, what have you done to my eggs! And what is that dog doing in my yard!”

Yipes!

I recognized the voice. It belonged to Radar Woman, She Who Sees Everything. I shot a glance to the right and saw her standing on the porch with her hands parked on her hips, always an omelet sign. An ominous sign, let us say.

Actually, she had only one hand parked on her hip, because the other held her broom. That was a vital piece of information that somehow flew right past me. Had I noticed the Dreaded Broom, I would have…

Actually, I would have done exactly what I did. I didn’t care about the Dreaded Broom! I returned to the vital business of reviving my poor fallen omelet, as though there would be no tomorrow.

There almost was no tomorrow. I mean, she was really steamed about the busted eggs and me being in her yard, and maybe she’d seen me chasing her pampered little crook of a cat too. That would be typical because she sees EVERYTHING.

Anyway, I was doing CPR on Slim’s shirt, and we’re talking about totally absorbed in Selfless Service, when the broom came down across my back.

Whack!

“Hank, get out of my yard and stop being mean to the cat!”

Stop being mean to the…oh brother! What did I tell you? She sees everything, nobody’s safe around her—only let me point out that she didn’t see everything. She totally missed that her precious kitty had spied on me and Drover and had ridiculed one of our most touching musical creations.

The cat can do anything around here and get away with it, but all I have to do is…never mind.

She swatted me good and when I saw the broom going up for a second shot, I abandoned Slim and raced toward a clump of vegetation near the northwest corner of the house. There, I hunkered down and peered through the iris plants to see if Sally May was in pursuit, when it dawned on me…

Iris patch? Slowly, I slid my gaze around to the right and saw…the cat. It was Pete, broadcasting his usual annoying smirk, only multiplied times five. He fluttered his eyelids and said, “My, she certainly delivers a blow with that broom, doesn’t she?”

My lips leaped into a snarl. “How would you like to climb a tree?”

“Well, Hankie, I guess that depends on how many times you want to get flogged by the broom.”

I cut my eyes from side to side. “Good point.”

“Goodbye, Hankie, and by the way…” He whispered behind his paw, “It really was a nice little song. Thanks for sharing.”

For a moment of heartbeats, as we stood nose to nose, I did a rapid calculation on the Ratio of Pain To Pleasure, in case I decided to give him the thrashing he so richly deserved. Data Control crunched the numbers and flashed a solution: “BETTER NOT.”

So I delivered one last crushing message.

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