The Behaviour Guru by Bennett Tom;

Author:Bennett, Tom;
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Bloomsbury Publishing Plc
Published: 2019-11-23T00:00:00+00:00

You are SO unfair: getting kids to understand why some people get special treatment

Dear Tom

My Year 6 class have a variety of hard backgrounds, and many of them have had a tough time at school. One boy in particular has really violent and extreme episodes and outbursts; even with help to manage his behaviour he finds it difficult. We’ve worked out coping strategies with him, and he has a learning mentor.

But now the other kids think that he gets special treatment, and openly say it’s unfair that he can leave class to calm down when he’s hyper or aggressive, or spend time out of lessons with his mentor. I’ve told them he doesn’t go out for treats, but does so to help them learn and for him to calm down. Most accept this, but some still think he gets favoured. It’s causing friction in my whole class.

Ah, the delights of inclusion-at-all-costs. I sympathize. In my opinion our school system is badly letting down a generation of pupils of all needs due to this insane social experiment. Cheers, David Blunkett.

But that’s no help to you. I would say that after four years of being together it’s unlikely they’ll spontaneously form a barbershop chorus anytime soon. Every class has a different dynamic, and some classes have dynamics that really, really suck, simple as that. They will never settle easily together, in the same way that some people will never get along particularly well.

And that’s no help either, but I think it’s an important thing to realize before you are too hard on yourself. As with so many other problems involving behaviour, we don’t have the luxury of unpicking years of difficult upbringing. Sometimes all we can do is deal with the behaviour, and that means clear guidelines and clear sanctions. Apply them whenever they are broken and the pupils will understand. They may always wriggle, and this may just be their destiny.

As to the allegations of unfairness, I agree that there needs to be a class conversation about it, and then an instruction from you (not a suggestion) that there has been a line drawn under the situation. I would tell them that we all need different help to get to the same level. I wouldn’t expect a pupil on crutches to climb stairs, and I wouldn’t expect a pupil with anger management issues to be able always to resolve them successfully without time outs, etc. Some people wear glasses, some people need scribes, and some people need to leave the room when they get angry.

If they still bitch about it after this then it’s too bad for them – you’ve been reasonable and explained matters. Get the detention stick out.

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