That Girl by Ruth Miranda

Author:Ruth Miranda [Miranda, Ruth]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Trans Romance, Transgender Romance, LGBTQIA, Coming Out Romance, Queer Romance
Publisher: Ruth Miranda
Published: 2023-10-13T22:00:00+00:00

14

February 2018

SuLouNing

Byanbyan-Ma

“I officially adopted the name Yvette when I was twelve,” she continues. “Came across this book, by Guy de Maupassant. The name struck a chord, and since that day, I insisted I was no longer Dax, but Yvette. My parents went along with it, and so did the school, I was allowed to wear the girls’ uniform, and felt very comfortable, to be honest. Everyone accepted me, and my brother championed me among students and teachers who questioned my claim.”

“So you never identified with being a boy?”

“No, never. And never looked quite like one, either. Even when puberty came and my body started changing, I was never very masculine. Always small, slim, and rather shapeless, my features were always effeminate. I didn’t have facial hair, and only very sparse amounts of it under my arms and on my legs. I did shave, though, once those started growing.” She lets out a throaty chortle and my skin breaks into goosebumps. “I was a very happy and mentally healthy girl, at the time, studious and driven, with a clear idea of what I wanted for my future. That’s why I insisted on attending École Française, you see. Because I wanted to study French Literature and become a teacher.”

Pausing, she searches my eyes, whether for reassurance or courage, I don’t know. The hold I have on her hand tightens, I’m this close to kissing her. The fact she’s baring her soul - and what I fear is a complicated past - holds me back. I want to ask all these questions, but don’t know how to frame them, or how she’ll take it.

“But you gave up on that dream.”

“The biggest mistake I made was changing schools. I wasn’t welcomed at École Française. Ignored by my classmates, I also lacked support from the teachers, although my grades were very good and I was at the top of the class on every subject.

“There was this particular group of girls, very vicious, they were. Bullies, all of them. Not just mean girls, mind, these five were disturbed. They selected a few victims and taunted them endlessly, I was just one of their targets. She-male, they called me, whenever I walked by, ladyboy, sissy. Pervert, even.”

The look on her face changes, shadows eclipsing the spark within her eyes. This is a hard subject for her, these are terrible memories - they make her shoulders stiffen and turn her hand into claws between my fingers. My forehead touches her arm again, I bump it gently.

“Stop,” I murmur. “Don’t go back there. You don’t have to relive it.”

“A while ago, you said you wanted to know me better. This is the only way; you have to listen. You have to listen and understand that even just being friends with me is complicated. You want to know me, Sun Lee? Then you listen to my story. So you can make up your mind about what the fuck you really want from this.”

I try to reach for her face with my free hand, she won’t let me.

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