Stoic at Work by Annie Lawson

Author:Annie Lawson [Annie Lawson]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Allen & Unwin
Published: 2023-07-21T00:00:00+00:00

RULE 25

DON’T SHAG THE BOSS

When asked what is the most important thing not to do at work, friends of mine said: Do not go to bed with the boss. Especially if they are not single. Of all the complexities we face as we navigate our working lives, this one tops them all.

On the one hand, it’s a no-brainer. Romantic entanglements with a superior are fraught for those down the pecking order. Although it’s deeply unfair, the power imbalance inevitably means the person lower down the work totem pole is disadvantaged or forced to leave the workplace when things turn sour.

On the other hand, well before that spark of electricity turns to romance, it is worth stepping back to focus on your manager’s undesirable traits. The way they eat crunchy apples in earshot. How they peer over your screen to see what you’re writing. The fact that they assign you unfeasibly large amounts of work, and never compliment you for a job well done.

Even so, office romances are common. A consultant once explained that the workplace created the conditions for amorous connections to flourish, because working is inherently stressful – we are dealing with difficult people, tight deadlines and complex problems. For some people, a psychological coping mechanism might be to sexualise stress in order to self-soothe and distract the mind. That’s not to say love cannot blossom in high-pressure work environments. But it can be easy to mistake a sense of team cohesion for intimacy.

What’s more, hierarchical workplace romances are more common than relationships between colleagues on an equal footing. Clearly there’s something about the power the boss has that holds a certain cachet. Perhaps that explains how someone with a comb-over, zip-off pants and nasal hair might suddenly become so appealing.

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