Spectacular Marriage by Victoria Mary Fach

Author:Victoria Mary Fach [Fach, Victoria Mary]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781982272685
Publisher: Balboa Press
Published: 2022-03-15T04:00:00+00:00

QUESTIONS TO PONDER

If I am preparing for marriage, have I learned what the vows are that are specific to my faith tradition? How do I feel about that?

If I am married, can I look back at the vows we exchanged and see how I am living up to them? How do I feel about that?

Do I see wedding vows as expressing a contract or a covenant? How do I feel about that?

CHAPTER 4

Ready, Set…

For an engaged couple, an important step toward divorce-proofing the upcoming marriage is to attend an Engaged Encounter (EE) Weekend or Evenings for the Engaged, if they are available. The EE Weekend helps a couple look at every area of their future life together, from religious faith to jobs, money, sex, children, family, and other aspects of married life. Often, couples have never talked about many of these areas. There may be several answers to these questions where one or the other is surprised at what their future husband or wife thinks.

The Engaged Encounter Weekend includes a series of presentations led by a team of married couples and a priest, who encourage each couple to talk privately about their upcoming marriage from the point of view of their own relationship. Personal reflection and couple discussion help reveal attitudes that can impact the marriage. The motto of Engaged Encounter, “A wedding is a day, a marriage is a lifetime,” highlights the importance of serious preparation for a lifetime as a married couple who will positively affect their own family and the world around them.

A friend of ours who gave EE Weekends, told us that the teams often judged it a successful Weekend if at least one of the couples making the Weekend broke off their engagement after discovering incompatibility on serious issues. It is far better to discover this during the engagement than after marriage.

This is much better immediate preparation than my husband and I experienced. We met with my pastor and filled out some forms (which were in Latin) and possibly discussed marriage, but it left very little impression on me if we did. I’m sure we chose the Readings for the Nuptial Mass, although the priest who married us asked if we could change the Gospel Reading to Matthew 7:24-27, about the two foundations. I still remember how in his homily he emphasized that our marriage would be built solidly on the rock of the Church, and so it was.

We also had had 5 years getting to know each other, from the time I was 17 and Wes was 16 until we were married at 22. This time included 3 years of writing love letters to each other while we were away at college, half a country apart, when we discussed all that we were thinking and experiencing as we were becoming adults. I was thinking seriously about marriage all through college and wrote a paper on marriage as it was portrayed in Dostoevsky’s four major novels when I was taking Russian Literature. In addition, we

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