Reclaiming Youth at Risk by Brendtro Larry K.;Brokenleg Martin;Van Bockern Steve;

Author:Brendtro, Larry K.;Brokenleg, Martin;Van Bockern, Steve;
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Solution Tree
Published: 2019-08-15T00:00:00+00:00

1. Teach to prevent future problems.

2. Develop respect and social responsibility.

3. Discuss natural consequences.

4. Strengthen internal prosocial values.

5. Strengthen empathy circuits in the brain.

1. Use pain to penalize past behavior.

2. Develop obedience to authority.

3. Administer arbitrary consequences.

4. Impose external rule enforcement.

5. Condition pain circuits in the brain.

Natural consequences are powerful when available. But if not, then as Rudolf Dreikurs, Bernice Bronia Grunwald, and Floyd C. Pepper suggest, consequences should at least be logical.43 This could also be seen as an example of what is now known as restorative justice—repairing harm instead of administering punishment.44

Children can never be effectively socialized if the balance of interventions are more punitive than positive. Punishment should come from caring adults who use it occasionally and judiciously. Punishment has a destructive effect if a child perceives it as rejection from adults who should provide love and security. We suggest the following guidelines for genuine discipline, which shifts the focus from administering consequences to instilling responsibility.

• Going from rules to values: It is a truism that children have to learn to live by the rules, but preoccupation with rules should not obscure values. Rule books may make those in power feel secure, but if frontline staff and youth do not own those rules, they are likely to ignore them. Effective schools for youth at risk adapt flexibly to the needs of students rather than make every decision by the book. Rigid procedures turn professionals into clerks and technocrats. Programs that shift from pursuing rule violators to teaching prosocial values of mutual respect create more manageable educational climates.45

• Demanding greatness instead of obedience:46 Many assume that the choice in management philosophy is between obedience or permissiveness. There is another option that is neither authoritarian nor permissive. This is to demand mature, responsible behavior. It is not acceptable for youth to run roughshod over the rights of others. Adults must challenge hurting behavior and hold children accountable, but in ways that call forth the great potential of young people. For clarity, these examples contrast demanding obedience versus demanding greatness.

• “Bullying the new student in our class violates school rules, so you are going to be punished.”

• “I know you want to be respected, and that is the way you are expected to treat others in our class.”

• Reversing responsibility: Maturity requires taking responsibility for one’s failures and weaknesses. Instead, many rationalize, deny, project, or excuse—anything to avoid acknowledging that one has been wrong. Dodging responsibility becomes a high art form with youth who blame others for their difficulties. But taking ownership of problems is the first step in resolving them. Thus, a person who puts off responsibility can be countered by an adult or peer who reverses responsibility. Here are examples.

• A student seeks to excuse poor school attendance by telling a counselor, “Well, my parents are alcoholics, so what do you expect?” The counselor reverses this by saying simply, “Then I guess it’s up to you.”

• When a drug-abusing youth rationalizes that “Lots of adults use drugs of

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