Racism and Cultural Diversity by M. J. Maher

Author:M. J. Maher
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Karnac Books

CHAPTER TWENTY EIGHT

Finding themselves: pain is gain

28.1 Working toward ending therapy

Remembering what my supervisor and the supervision group said, I spoke in the group about how I would miss them, and suddenly the group became angry with me. Carol spoke of the injustice in the group: I expected them to explain themselves yet did not explain my own absences. She felt disillusioned and let down by me. I had failed to be the ever-present breast.

The group responded to Carol with pleasure because she had found her voice. She had never been able to express her anger with me. Carol responded to the group’s reaction by becoming tearful, saying how important I had become to her. She then disclosed having been sexually abused at twelve years of age by her friend’s father when she went to a sleepover. She had never told anyone about it. She apologized to Robert for not being able to talk about it earlier when he spoke about his sexual abuse and explained that she had been trying to pretend it never happened. She was able to work through the shame and guilt she felt. The group held her warmly.

Robert also found his voice in expressing his anger instead of his usual behaviour of storming out. He spoke of feeling angry with me. He had felt responsible for my absence when I fell asleep because he had walked out of the previous session in anger. He had phoned the unit to see if I was all right. He spoke about how furious he felt when he received my letter because he knew I was all right. Robert became so angry that his shouting was frightening and nearly getting out of control, but then Carol reminded him of a time he once said that he would never ring me and she quoted his declaration “even if she was the Queen of Sheba“, and that calmed him down immediately. He said he was a different man now and talked about how he valued me and the group.

Robert explained that the nightmares about his sexual abuse had started again and he blamed me for making him worse. This time he spoke about the sexual abuse with emotion. It was scary for the whole group because he became so regressed, curling up in the chair into a foetal position. Sometimes his lips moved but without a sound coming out. We talked about how scared he must have felt. He became angry with his mother, of whom he had been so protective; maybe he was able to do that because I had survived his anger. The group was able to stay with him and contain his distress.

Howard thought I had staged my absence because they had stopped working. Violet became angry with him because she felt he did not give them a chance to decide whether to stay or go home. Suddenly the group became heated—most were angry with Howard for trying to replace me.

I commented: “It seemed Howard’s effort to protect the group by keeping you all together is not appreciated“.

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