Perfect Rivalry by Radclyffe

Author:Radclyffe [Radclyffe]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781636792170
Publisher: Bold Strokes Books
Published: 2022-05-01T20:41:10+00:00

Chapter Twelve

Ren lay awake listening to Dani breathe. The sound was foreign and fascinating. She’d never slept with anyone else before. Thinking back, the last time she’d had a roommate was in her first year of college, and her roommate, Sarah Fenway, had hardly ever been there. Sarah’d had a group of her own friends whom she’d known from high school. Even then, Ren had recognized that what passed as worldliness and sophistication among Sarah and her friends was really an elaborate disguise to cover insecurity and uncertainty, but that hadn’t made their dismissal of her any easier. Ren, feeling out of place whenever any of them decided to spend time in their suite, had taken very quickly to studying in the library. She’d once heard someone refer to her as the little ghost when they thought she hadn’t been listening. She supposed she was in a way, moving in and out of circle after circle, never leaving an impression on anyone except the teachers and mentors. She’d impressed them for her aptitude, but even they had never seen beyond that to consider what her achievements might have cost. Sax was the only one in her life, until Quinn Maguire, who’d ever looked at her and not thought of her as special first.

Ren laughed to herself.

Sax had never found her extraordinary, and in fact had told her point-blank she’d have to be tough and resilient and enterprising to succeed in a career in surgery.

“And you think I’m not,” Ren had said, supremely confident at the age of fifteen.

“I think you don’t know enough to know what you can do,” Sax had said. “Or what you might not want to do.”

“I’m not afraid of the competition,” Ren said. “I’ve heard what you’ve said before, about there always being room at the top.”

Sax sighed. “That’s an expression that’s supposed to be encouraging. But it doesn’t mention the cost of success.”

“Like what?”

“Like giving up big chunks of your life at a time when you should be enjoying it most—like putting aside relationships until later, if later ever comes.”

“You have a relationship with Jude,” Ren pointed out stubbornly.

“Yes, and I’m damn lucky I do. If Jude wasn’t the amazing person she is—” Sax ran a hand through her hair, and a distant look came into her eyes. “I’m not sure who I might have turned into in another ten years.”

“I’m not worried about what might happen in twenty years,” Ren said.

“I know. But the sacrifices will start a long time before that—just try to notice, okay?”

“I know what I want,” Ren had told her. “And I know what it will take. You’ve told me. I’ve been listening.”

Sax had studied her for long seconds, then nodded in agreement. “All right then. Let’s talk about where you ought to train.”

And from that point on, Sax had believed in her. She’d never again warned her of the consequences of her decisions. And Ren had not forgotten.

“What are you thinking about?” Dani said from the darkness.

“My sister,” Ren said.

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