Oleander: An MM Great Expectations Reimagining by Scarlett Drake

Author:Scarlett Drake [Drake, Scarlett]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2024-06-02T00:00:00+00:00

Me:

did you beat him?

Caspien:

Yes. 15 to 11

I’d gone to bed with a proud smile on my face.

Since he’d told me to come over in the evening, I showered, made myself a sandwich, and tried reading a book for an hour or so. I was distracted, agitated, and excited to see him, my stomach and chest in complicated knots. That was the moment I realised, with startling clarity, how tightly my mood was linked to Caspien.

I thought about those months when he was cold and abrupt with me; how difficult I’d been. How unpleasant to Luke I’d been on those days he’d asked me to help out at the big house, specifically because I knew Caspien would be around and I hated being so small and insignificant to him. I thought of how lost and uncertain the world felt when he returned to Switzerland, leaving me alone to deal with feelings I couldn’t control or understand.

Then, the inverse: how every moment of wonder and pleasure and thrill I’d felt for the last few months had been because of him. Because I’d had him in ways I hadn’t even known I’d wanted.

I wasn’t sure it was normal or even healthy to be so completely wrapped up in another person – now I know it was neither—but I also couldn’t stop it, not least because it would mean a return to that feeling of before. For good or bad, I was tied, soul bound, to Caspien. It was terrifying and electrifying all at once. I was alive and in love, and the future we could have – that I would convince him we could have – stretched out before me, endless and shimmering.

I couldn’t wait to tell him about the golden ticket burning in my hand, about all the ways I was going to make him come this summer, about how I was going to be everything he needed and wanted. I couldn’t wait to tell him I loved him.

I was in love. And I was still young enough and naïve enough to assume that was all I needed, to assume the power of that alone was enough to protect me from everything else.

But Cas had been right; I knew nothing of what love was supposed to be.

Unwilling to wait another minute to see him, I grabbed the trust paperwork from my desk and flew out of the house, convinced of my place in the world and Caspien’s place right next to me.

I’d thought about texting him first, but then I thought about his little gasp of surprise and the way his eyes would light up when I appeared, pushed him against whatever wall was closest, and kissed him. I thought about how easily he’d open for me when I dropped to my knees and fumbled with his belt. Of how he’d grow hard and desperate around my tongue, pleading with me even as he gripped my hair in his fist.

I ran faster.

When he wasn’t in the kitchen, I went straight to the library, and when he wasn’t there, I went to the music room.

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