Middle School's a Drag, You Better Werk! by Greg Howard

Author:Greg Howard [Howard, Greg]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Penguin Young Readers Group
Published: 2020-02-11T00:00:00+00:00

17

THE FREE SAMPLE

Mr. Grayson kept my phone until the end of the day and gave me the first-ever strike of my middle school career. No one is sure how many strikes Mr. Grayson gives before he calls your parents. It kind of depends on his mood, I think. But I don’t care as much about the strike as the fact that he took my phone away. I don’t know how the vice principal thinks I’m supposed to conduct business at school without it. What if Mr. Billy Shannon calls me back in the middle of math class? Or during a school assembly? Does Mr. Grayson seriously think I’m going to let that call go to voice mail? No, thank you very much, Vice Principal Grayson, and have a nice day.

As soon as I get my phone back, I call Dad and ask him if it’s okay if I bring my friend Charvi to visit Pap this afternoon. He said he thought that would be fine since Pap has been feeling better. It’s been almost three weeks since I’ve seen Pap and I haven’t been able to tell him about the Anything Talent and Pizzazz Agency at all. I think it will cheer him up, because all he ever does is sit in a wheelchair in his room all day watching TV. And since he’s blind, by watching, I mean his wheelchair faces the TV and he talks back to the characters on the shows like they’re in the room with him. Pap Pruitt isn’t crazy or anything, though. I think he’s just lonely—which is kind of sad—so I try to visit him as much as I can. Dad didn’t seem to mind at all that I wanted Charvi to go with us and he didn’t even ask me why. Just tapped her address into the GPS and we were on our way.

Penelope guides us in the direction of the Battery, close to downtown Charleston. Penelope is what Dad calls the British lady GPS voice blaring through the minivan. Dad loves Penelope and talks back to her like she’s a real-live person all the time. I think he has a crush on her, but she doesn’t sound interested in him, like, at all.

“Turn right onto Ashley Drive in one-point-five miles,” Penelope says, like she’s bored out of her mind.

“Why, thank you, Penelope,” Dad says in a terrible British accent.

Penelope doesn’t ever say you’re welcome, though. Or maybe she does in Dad’s head.

They should have kid GPS voices. I think I would be great at that. During the summers, I sometimes go with Dad on his landscaping jobs and I’ve learned how to get around Charleston pretty well. And I wouldn’t sound bored or British if I were giving directions on GPS. I would just sound like a real-live kid. Actually that’s another great business idea:

Anything Real-Live-Kid GPS Service

A division of Anything, Inc.

Michael Pruitt—President, Founder, CEO, and Guidance Expert

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.