Married Women Who Love Women by Carren Strock

Author:Carren Strock [Strock, Carren]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Psychology, Human Sexuality, Psychotherapy, General, Mental Health, Social Science, Women's Studies
ISBN: 9781135466435
Google: BWJKbWbajRMC
Publisher: Taylor & Francis
Published: 2009-04-15T05:01:28+00:00

Rikki

Rikki said, “Making love had become uncomfortable for me even before I told Joe about myself. After I told him, because of our kids, we decided to try to stay together anyway—in separate rooms. We’re great at parenting together, and we’re great as housemates, and now that sex isn’t hanging over our heads, we’re much better friends, too. The problem was that I love having my own room, but I missed watching the morning news with Joe and discussing it before going off to work. He never said I couldn’t watch it with him, but I was uncomfortable going back into the room I’d given up. Then something major broke on the news, and I hurried into his room without stopping to think. He motioned to my old side of the bed, and we watched the news together. And we have, each morning since.

“The truth is, we can now share a bed with no discomfort. When the house is filled with overnight guests and it makes the most sense, I’ll move back into his room for the weekend, and if we’re traveling to family functions or whatever, we’ll share a room rather than go for the expense of two, and we’re both comfortable. My lover was uncomfortable with this at first, but once she got to know Joe, she felt differently.”

Some women in celibate and redefined relationships continue to share their beds with their husbands, as Rikki has.

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Feelings of isolation often led women to join support groups. These groups became substitute families, and wanting the approval and acceptance of their new “families,” some women made decisions based on what the others in the group did rather than what was right for them at that time. Women also relied on therapists to help them when they contemplated the decision to remain or leave a marriage. Unfortunately, when the first edition of Married Women Who Love Women came out, many therapists, like the women they counseled, were either not aware that other options existed or were counseling from their own agendas.

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