Loving Your Child Too Much by Tim Clinton

Author:Tim Clinton
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: ebook, book
Publisher: Thomas Nelson
Published: 2012-11-01T00:00:00+00:00

If you find yourself answering yes to any of these questions, you may have a problem with overcontrol. If so, don’t be discouraged! We know that many parents who overcontrol do so out of good intentions and concerns—not because they don’t love their kids.

HOW TO GIVE BALANCED CONTROL

The good news is that you can stop the cycle. It may be a challenge, but you can begin to balance control with grace and love. One of the first ways to do this is to look to Scripture for guidance.

The Bible teaches that our value is not dependent on the grades we earn, the languages we speak, the friends we have, or the money we make. We are all created in the image and spirit of God (see Genesis 1:27). Our worth is based on who we are, not what we do. God gives us the grace to make mistakes. The Bible says, “But now a righteousness from God, apart from law, has been made known, to which the Law and the Prophets testify. This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe . . . All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus” (Romans 3:21–24). If God gives us, His children, this kind of grace, shouldn’t we as earthly parents impart such grace to our kids?

Our heavenly Father provides the perfect example of balanced control. He doesn’t constantly judge or criticize. In fact, He cherishes us—every fiber of our being. King David wrote in a song to God, “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well” (Psalm 139:13–14). God loves us no matter what. We may disappoint Him, but our actions won’t change His love for us. He stands by our side, guiding us through life. He cheers us on when we succeed, comforts us when we fail, and waits patiently for us to return to Him when we lose our way.

Here are a few practical ways that you, following God’s model of perfect control, can begin to lovingly let go:

LET THEM EXPRESS THEIR OPINIONS AND TASTES.

Kids are going to have likes and dislikes that differ from yours. Sometimes these differences are minor. “I love cats, but my parents don’t—they’re allergic,” a young girl once said to us. And sometimes they’re more drastic. “His mother and I are Republicans, but our son is as left as a Christian can be!” one father said jovially. Whatever your differences are, there’s no healthy way to make your children prefer what you prefer or believe what you believe. As parents, we are to teach our kids good morals and biblical principles, and then with their opinions set them free.

If your child disagrees with you, don’t jump to the conclusion that he’s a moral reprobate and needs to be intimidated into changing his mind.

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