Lottie's Little Secret by Debbie Viggiano

Author:Debbie Viggiano [Viggiano, Debbie]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2023-10-31T16:00:00+00:00

Chapter Thirty-Five

Doreen and Neville pursed their lips while telling us to have a good time in Bognor. We politely said thank you, then set off to Heathrow.

The Bahamas was beautiful. However, as I’ve already said, there are some memories that are best forgotten. As a result, mine are now a little fuzzy around the edges.

I do remember perching self-consciously on a sunbed. Alone. I was wearing my newly purchased maternity swimsuit. Rick had befriended an American woman with a deep tan and huge breast implants. Her name was Kay. Rick and she were inseparable.

My husband arranged several excursions. A waterpark. A visit to underwater caves. A speedboat trip. Paragliding. Water skiing. None of these activities were suitable for a pregnant woman. I’d stayed on my sunbed, reading. Occasionally I’d taken a dip in the pool. I’d been aware that Kay had booked the same excursions as Rick.

I’d told myself not to be jealous. After all, what could they possibly get up to in public? However, the evenings were different. Rick and I would have dinner together. Afterwards, he’d make his excuses. Go into town. Visit a casino.

‘It’s no place for a lady,’ he’d said, when I’d asked if I could go to.

‘I see,’ I’d said lightly. ‘Is it a place for whores?’

He’d looked startled, then laughed.

‘What are you inferring? I’m going with some of the guys I met earlier at the bar.’

‘What bar?’ I’d frowned.

‘The swim-up bar at the pool,’ he’d said with exaggerated patience. ‘What is this, Lottie? The ninth degree? What’s the matter?’

‘I’m lonely,’ I’d said. What I’d really wanted to do was let rip with accusations. The Kay factor. ‘There is something else.’ I’d taken a deep breath. Spat out the crux of the matter – something that had bothered me since we’d arrived. ‘You’ve not made love to me once since getting here. We’re meant to be on honeymoon.’

Rick had taken my hands. Held them in his.

‘Don’t take this personally, Lots…’

‘Yes?’ I’d prompted.

‘I love you. You’re gorgeous…’

‘But?’ My voice had sounded harsh.

‘But… right now… well, I mean, look at you.’

‘What do you mean?’ I’d cried.

But I’d known what he’d meant. What he hadn’t wanted to say out loud. Physically, he’d gone off me. He didn’t find my baby bump sexy. I’d read about it, of course. How some men thought their wives looked even more attractive. Couldn’t keep their hands to themselves. Pleased as punch that it was their seed that had widened their woman’s hips. Filled her belly.

And then there were the men that fell into the opposite category. Men like Rick. Men who couldn’t get their heads around the fact that there was a baby in there. Men who found it a huge mental barrier.

In the second week of our honeymoon, Rick had stayed out later and later. He would creep into bed in the early hours of the morning. He’d try not to disturb me. He never knew that I’d been laying there, wide awake. Eyes open in the dark. Waiting for his return.

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