Lord of Hearts by Gillgannon Mary

Author:Gillgannon, Mary
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Fiction, Romance, Historical
Publisher: Dragonblade Publishing, Inc.
Published: 2020-10-21T16:00:00+00:00

Chapter Thirteen

Marared sat up in bed and stretched. Her body felt delightfully content and relaxed. But in the back of her mind, the familiar doubts and guilt loomed. She climbed out of bed, as if that would help her escape the tormenting thoughts. But they followed her, reminding her of the message she’d sent to Rhys, and how it was in direct opposition to her amazing experience last night. How could she betray a man who made her feel so wonderful? How could she betray herself?

Outside the cozy bed, the room was cool, and she hurried to don her shift, draped over one of the chairs. Malmsbury must have put it there. That was the sort of man he was, careful and considerate. She thought again of the things he’d done to her and felt a flush of embarrassment. He was a wonderful lover, playing her body as an adept musician might play the crwth or harp. How confident he’d been he could bend her to his will and make her helpless with desire. She wanted to despise him for that. But even though she stoked the ashes of resentment, they refused to catch ablaze.

She dressed and went to the window, staring out at the overcast sky. Malmsbury might give her great pleasure in bed, but the rest of her life was bleak and purposeless. At this moment, she did not entirely regret plotting with Rhys to sabotage the alliance and her marriage. She could not live like this, a pampered, aimless life. She missed her home. She missed Aoife, her father and her brother, and everyone at Caer Brynfawr. She missed the horses and her father’s hounds. Even the sheep and the cattle. And she missed the wild hills and all the animals that lived there: foxes, hares, squirrels, pine martins and deer, the hawks and gyrfalcons and the other birds.

Undoubtedly, some of those creatures lived around Tangwl. But she didn’t know where to find them, and she felt certain Malmsbury wouldn’t let her go riding alone to seek them out. And what about her mother’s family in Ireland? Now that she was wed, would she ever see them again?

The losses piled up, making her want to weep. But that was what children did, and she was a woman. Women took charge of their lives, as she had done in sending the message to Rhys. Even though her stomach clenched whenever she thought of what she had set in motion, every time she reasoned things out, she came to the same conclusion. Escaping this marriage was the only hope she had of ever being happy again.

Feeling slightly calmer, she put on her stockings and shoes and sat in the window seat to begin the struggle to tame her hair. She needed Edith’s help. But the young maidservant hadn’t come, and it seemed foolish to go searching for her simply to have the girl tend to her hair. But after a few minutes of fighting with tangles, she decided she had no choice.

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