Kissing Claws (Not Quite Holiday Love Stories Book 2) by Julia Mills

Author:Julia Mills [Mills, Julia]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2020-08-13T18:30:00+00:00

Chapter Eight

“See?” The big guy guffawed and pointed, slapping Fay Fay on the back as his uproarious merriment got louder and louder. “Did you hear that, Honey? Frannie called me Jesus.” Wiping his eye, he added with a wistfully chuckling sigh, “Jesus. That’s the best. So funny. Just hilarious. Too fun…”

"Holy shit, wrap me in tinsel and hang me on the tree, are you Father Time?" Squealing like Mrs. Claus on Labor Day, I pointed with all my fingers doing the sideways jazz hands while jumping up and down like I was on a pogo stick. "You're Fay Fay's dear old dad. The one and only, the man responsible for Space, Time, Destiny, Fate, everything but the first six days of creation." Clapping my hands, I cheered, "Dude, you literally make the world go 'round." Turning while bouncing, I motioned to my hunka-hunka-flamin' love with a bop of my head to the side. "Can you believe it? It's Father-Freakin'-Time!" Doing a hopping pirouette better than any prima ballerina, my fingers were jazzin' double-time as I squealed in delight, "You're Father-Freakin'-Time. Father Time said my name. You know my mom. Oh-my-Goddess-oh-my-Goddess-oh-sweet-baby-Elves Father Time is here! You're here! He's…"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, we get it, Frannie the Froot Loop," Fay Fay interrupted with an exaggerated scoff and a super overdone roll of her eyes. "He's my dad. He's cool. Big whoop." Flopping her hand out and pointing to her palm for the second time, she demanded with a haughty tone that made Constance growl in the back of my brain, "Give me the damn brooch or I'll have your hero here zap you out of existence…whoa whoa whoa Daaaaaad! What are you… Dad! No! Dad! Stop! You don’t understand. She’s got… Daaaaaaaaaaad!”

Frozen in place, arms still straight out in front of me, fingers jazzing in triple time, I continued to bounce like Rock-N-Roll Santa on Go-Go juice. It was the coolest, most frightening, most wonderful, incredibly weird but somehow gratifying thing I’d ever seen. Shock and awe is the only way I can explain the pure pile of steaming comeuppance that befell my archnemesis, Fay Fay.

Snatched up on her tippy toes by Father Time's grip on her ear, Fay Fay was forced into the corner. The same corner under the same sharp point of the scythe where she'd imprisoned my Dragon. Yes, you read that right, the Omnipotent Being, the bane of my existence, the twitch in my ass was unceremoniously and absolutely appropriately put in Time Out. Nose stuck in the corner, not even a chair for her black, yoga pants-covered ass, Fate stomped her foot before attempting to turn around only to be warned, "Fate Karma Kismet Kronos stay right where you are. You've gone too far this time. You've not only endangered one of the blessed Twin Dragons of Yule and the lighting of the Dual Flames of Christmas, but you've tormented the heir to the throne of Fairy." (I never knew Fay Fay had all those names. Guess I really was a crappy friend.

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