Hollywood in Heels by Charity G. Finnestad

Author:Charity G. Finnestad
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Skyhorse
Published: 2013-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

HAPPILY NEVER AFTER

I take in a deep breath and square my shoulders. Adding a lightness I don’t feel to my voice, I reply to the caller on the other end of the line, “I’m sorry. I don’t care what he said. I’m not a stripper. I’m afraid you will have to look elsewhere for entertainment at your party.”

Hitting the hang-up button, I feel steam begin spouting out of the top of my head. Just like in Looney Tunes right before the fellow blows his top. I look at the phone and seriously consider smashing it against the wall.

How many people has Brown Eyes reached with this nonsense, and why? Technically speaking, he broke up with me. Why the hell is he on this slander revenge rampage? Isn’t slander revenge the territory of the broken, not the breakee? And why is it that people change so radically from doing everything in their power to ensure another person’s happiness, to wishing them an agonizing life and slow, painful death, simply because they aren’t together anymore?

There were five hot minutes when I truly believed that slandering snake was my soulmate. How could I not? Our romance had all the ingredients of a fairy tale: “The Swiss Prince” who saw a picture of his “Dream Fairy Princess” in a magazine. The “Magical Wish” the Prince made to meet the exotic American Princess. The “Fairy Stunt Girl” who granted his wish by introducing him to the Princess. The “Love at First Sight” that occurred between the Prince and Princess. The “Prince’s Evil Ex” who caused problems and had to be vanquished. And the “Fairytale Land” the Prince swept the Princess off to. (Let’s be honest, to an American girl raised on Disney movies, Switzerland, with its cobblestone streets, ancient castles, and tiny villages, was my fantasy world come to life.) Sure, it wasn’t Tinsel Town, but what girl couldn’t use a bit of both in her life?

I never stood a chance against Brown Eyes. After the Duck and the Professor, encountering a man who was generous with his affection, verbal about his love, and proud to show me off was such a novel experience that all my defenses were obliterated and my heart was his for the taking.

When we met, Brown Eyes was in the middle of what can only be defined as a mid-life crisis. He was sick of his life in Zurich and ready for a cataclysmic change. He’d always dreamed of being a chef, but he’d gone into accounting instead. He’d taken the safe route. He was miserable. Meeting me inspired him. Watching a ballsy girl risk everything to go after her dream to be a writer was like watching his ideal self. He decided that he was going to do the same. He was going to open a restaurant in LA. He said, “I know food. You know LA. We’ll do it together.” I told him my first priority was my book, but if I could help in any way, I would.

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