Fart Dad by Pete Ziolkowski

Fart Dad by Pete Ziolkowski

Author:Pete Ziolkowski
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Juvenile Fiction/Religious/Christian/Humorous/Action & Adventure/Family
Publisher: Elm Hill
Published: 2019-07-24T16:00:00+00:00


CHAPTER 7:

The Race Is On

Smalley: “Oooohhhh, Slim, dis ain’t no good, no good at all!”

Slim: “What happened to all the sauce, boss? Ain’t no toyz, ain’t no boyz, ain’t nothing to take, ain’t nothing to break.”

Smalley crumbled next to the full-size green-and-gold conversion van. Underneath the newly decaled white G. The heap of a shaking thug sobbed on top of the big bear feet Slim was wearing. No one told these guys that Toys“R”Us closed. For good. Never to be reopened again.

Smalley: “I’m ruined, Slim, ruined! The Old Lady, she ain’t gonna like dis. Gerty’s gonna be maaad, Slim, she’s gonna be mad. And da other thugs, man, doze guyz are gonna think weez just a joke, Slim, a joke!”

Slim: “Boss, dis ain’t no good. We ain’t winning like we should. Weez need a plan to beat da man. We can’t stay here and cry, weez gotta try. Weez gotta get back up and go or your old lady is gonna leave the Smalley show.”

Somehow, against all odds and reason, Slim’s poetic speech inspired Smalley. He pulled himself up, grabbing clumps of faux bear fur along the way. The thugs stood side by side in the abandoned Toys“R”Us parking lot. The sun reflected off the van, right above Smalley’s head like a lightbulb.

Smalley: “I gots an idea, Slim. Dis ain’t no problem. Dis is de answer. We just found our new hideout. Our new base. Ain’t no one looking for no toys at Toys“R”Us anymore, is dey? We can steal all da toyz in all da city—and hide ‘em in herez.”

Slim: “Dats why your da boss, boss. Da man wit da plan. Ain’t no bum, you gonna get us some. Weez gonna be da thugs on top who no one can stop. Dat trophy weez gonna git, even if we smell like….

Smalley: “Slim!! Da trophy! We ain’t gots any more time. Dis waz gonna be da only store weez hit. But now, we gotta get at all of ‘em. Let’s do dis.”

With that, Smalley and Slim rained down terror on every toy in the city. Slim charged through every toyless aisle in every store in the city. He growled as he ran and knocked everything off the shelves that he could while shouting—“The Brewers are from the sewers! The Bucks really suck! The Brewers are from the sewers! The Bucks really suck!”



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