Do You Wish You Never Met Me? by Laura May

Author:Laura May
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Creative James Media

Part Two

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Seven Years Later

What am I doing here? I thought sitting in an elegant restaurant, the delicate stem of a wine glass between my fingers.

My profile on the dating app said that I loved wine, when in reality I would much prefer a simple sweet cocktail with an umbrella on top. But that was a small lie on the list of truths. My profile boasted that I loved driving and was proud of my 1969 Ford Mustang Boss 429. That was the car my Dad had left me. It sat covered at the house I had rented out for years, and that car was my most helpful remedy when I finally woke up from the dark, murky place I found myself in during my early twenties. After Jake and Alice.

I had just hit thirty. I had thought something would change in my daily life, some fundamental shift in me turning a year older. I’d be wiser, stronger, happier.

None of that happened.

I still was me. My happiest moments were behind the wheel of the Mustang, alone.

As soon as I started making money I poured all of it into the car restoration. And it became my most striking and exotic feature, my car. I was sure many men invited me on dates just to see the Mustang.

Yes, only men. That feature was set as the default on the profile when I first filled it in.

Straight. I left it as it was.

After that decision, I spent many mornings waking up in strangers' beds, their arms draped over my body. I felt nothing. Even though my profile said I wanted a steady relationship as time went on, a few handsome candidates noted that I rejected anything that turned remotely serious. Maybe I should have changed my profile afterward. Or deleted it altogether.

My phone held a few numbers of guys who would gladly spend the night with me. In the mornings we would dress silently and drive to our fancy jobs. Easy, comfortable.

This was the last chance, I promised myself. The last chance to find a real partner. I scratched my nose, considering whether I actually needed one. Thank God I lived in the twenty-first century. Thank God for the internet, and all the benefits it brought.

My dread over finding a job after university looked laughable in hindsight. But during that time I was afraid I would not wake up in the morning because my heart would stop during the night. It hurt like hell that year. Of course it would. My dad had died, then Jake, then those moving curtains—ignoring me. They brought a final blow. Alice was there, in that house. I knew it. And during the first nights, after everything happened, I thought that having a dagger pierce my heart would have felt like a soft caress compared to what I felt at the time.

I tried not to think of that time anymore. I didn’t want to look past that fog that covered the memories and pain.

“Emily?”

I looked up at the man standing next to my table.

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