Diary of a Mormon Girl: Sometimes Forever Families Shouldn't Be Forever . . . by Morgan Shay Tilghman

Author:Morgan Shay Tilghman [Tilghman, Morgan Shay]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2020-03-10T05:00:00+00:00

Chapter Thirteen

The Divorce

I got in touch with a mediator since there was no money for a lawyer, and I set up an appointment. I asked Mark to move out but he refused. Flat out refused. He said, no way, this is my house too. You can’t make me leave. So he slept on the couch for nine months while we tried to sell our house. The market was slow and sluggish and was still recovering from the 2008 real estate bust, so we had to practically give away the house to get out from under it. But the day I packed up my kids and moved out of the house, was a day I could finally breathe. It felt like all of my birthdays wrapped up into one beautiful day. That’s what freedom feels like.

I’d had no idea just how hard my marriage was, until I was free from it and happy. My husband’s porn/sex addiction had brought such a dark spirit into our home that it was draining and heavy and for years, I’d had no idea. On top of that, living for a year with a man who refused to leave and was bitter and angry and rude every day, was a trial I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. I told my mediator that I was terrified that Mark would actually kill me in my sleep or get violent. But he said the only way to make him leave was to get a restraining order and have the cops remove him from the home. I wasn’t willing to traumatize my kids anymore than they’d already been traumatized, so I chose to endure it as best as I could.

Sleeping for the first time in our new rental house was a night I could sleep deeply, knowing that we were in God’s hands and that He was looking out for us. I knew we were doing what was right and what God wanted us to do, even though it went against everything my religion stood for and flew in the face of ‘Forever Families’. It felt like I took my babies in my arms and jumped off a cliff, but I had complete faith that God would catch me. And He did.

Mark wasn’t through with me though. He wanted to make my life as horrible and hard as he could. I only had one maxed out credit card to my name since he’d cut me off from any money he made. So I needed the proceeds from the sale of our house to survive on until I could figure out how to support my family. And since our divorce wasn’t final yet, he refused to sign off on the disbursement of funds at the title company, and he also refused to pay child support even though the mediator told him to. So there I was, in a new rental home, with no way to even pay the first month’s rent or buy food.

I turned to my previous bishop, the one who believed Mark, and who had turned his back on me so completely.

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