Cabin Fever by Sarah Masters
Author:Sarah Masters [Masters, Sarah]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Erotic Romance Fiction
Publisher: Totally Bound Publishing
Published: 2013-12-15T00:00:00+00:00
Chapter Seven
Ben found the walk through the forest easyâhe had no trouble navigating his way, there were no surprise tree roots, and he didnât have the massive urge to get the hell out due to fear. He did want to get out, though, go home and begin his life as Francois had said. Oddly, he hadnât felt sad when theyâd parted, just grateful. Gratitude had swamped himâheâd been filled with the stuff as heâd dressed and left the cabin, not even turning when heâd waved at Francois, who had been standing in the doorway. Naked.
Even that hadnât made me want to stay.
He spent time on his journey home debating what had happened between them, why heâd given himself over like that, why he didnât feel ashamed, why he didnât feel an ounce of guilt at walking away with no intention of going back. It was as though he knew deep down their meeting had been some design of fateâsâstupid to think like that, fucking stupid. Fate had nothing to do with itâit just happenedâand Francois had been sent to help him move on. But that feeling was there all the same however much he tried to deny it, and if it meant he now had the strength to go on without Charlieâas himself, not some prick who acted as the office clownâthen heâd accept that fate explanation. It didnât explain the cat, but fuck, he wasnât going back into that forest so the cat wouldnât be giving him any sleepless nights now.
As he strode out from the tree line and made his way to the bridge, he looked up at the stars and wondered whether Charlie was watching him. Heâd like to think he was, nodding at Benâs new state of mind, pleased heâd broken free from his self-imposed celibacy. Had been liberated from his own form of grief.
And it was all right. Ben was bursting with a sense of purpose, of wanting to live the best way he knew how, with someone who cared for him by his side. If that didnât happen, if he didnât find anyone, that was all right too. He could do casual.
I can if I loosen my morals a bit, lose the guilt of using someone. But if theyâre using me too, whatâs the harm? If I fuck someone just because I need to be held and that person needs it tooâ¦nothing wrong in that, is there?
He crossed the bridge, smiled at the sound of trickling water, and headed up the rise. Christ, he hadnât felt so free since before Charlie had died. Young, thatâs what he felt like. Like years had been shaved off his mental state and the courage of youth had returned along with the sense of being able to do what he wanted without fear of judgment. Of being himself, going for what he wanted, not worrying about whether Charlie would have agreed or not.
Youâre not here, Charlie, but I am. Thereâs so much I want to explore, not just with life in general but sex.
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