Binding the God by Jeff Mann

Author:Jeff Mann
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: travel, literary, gay, queer, homosexual, essays, gay bear, appalachia, bear, masculine, masculinity, gay travel, gay masculinity
Publisher: Lethe Press

HOW TO BE A COUNTRY LEATHER BEAR

Everyone thinks of us as a city species, we leather bears. But you know better, you small-town gay men sporting beards, body hair, and brawn, you country-dwelling devotees of BDSM and rough man-on-man sex. Perhaps you live in a rural area because you grew up there to begin with and had little desire to leave, even after you realized you were queer. Perhaps you stayed in or near your hometown to be close to family or friends. Perhaps you left the city for financial reasons, to take advantage of the lower cost of living in the provinces. Perhaps you once tasted city life and recoiled, decided that living the urban gay lifestyle wasn’t worth the noise and traffic, the crowds and expense, and so returned to your roots, determined to stay. Whatever the reasons for your rustic existence, know that being a country leather bear is easier than the city-loving twink might imagine.

Yes, country folks tend more toward homophobia and conservatism than frequently liberal urbanites. Most small towns sport churches on every other corner, crammed on Sundays with frothing fundamentalists convinced that men-loving-men are satanic monsters. But you, as a leather bear, are likely to deal with such unfriendly surroundings better than many of your queer brethren. There are two reasons for this. One, the outfits of the typical leather bear are identical to those of most straight country boys. In winter, both kinds of men wear work boots, cowboy boots, thermal undershirts, sweatshirts, faded jeans, leather jackets, denim jackets, and cowboy hats. In summer, they sport baseball caps, cargo shorts, camo pants, A-shirts, muscle shirts, tank tops, and T-shirts. (The proof of this is Larry the Cable Guy, the blue-collar comedian. Step into any bear bar, and four out of every five men there will resemble him.) Thus, if you choose not to be openly gay, you’re well camouflaged. If you wear the typical leather-bear ensemble, you’ll look like any other redneck and will more easily be able to go about your life without having to tolerate public harassment as many of our more effeminate compatriots must. (Here’s the downside: if you, like many bears, are attracted to men who look like you, you’re often going to be seething with frustrated lust, surrounded by all those sexy straight men who look like leather bears but aren’t.)

The second reason why living around rural conservatives is easier for leather bears is purely physical. We’re not young, slender boys weak from constant dieting. We’re big—bulk being part of the definition of being a bear—and our furry faces and bodies make us look manly and menacing. The intolerant are simply less likely to pick a fight with men like us. Hit the gym, buddy. Work some heft into your chest and arms. Sport a few intimidating butch tattoos. While you’re at it, boxing and the martial arts are fine hobbies to adopt.

This protective coloration said and done, I’d recommend that you come out to as many of

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