Bible Adventures by Gabe Durham

Bible Adventures by Gabe Durham

Author:Gabe Durham
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Tags: criticism, Spiritual Warfare, 10NES, Nintendo of America, Secret Scout, Christianity, Bunch Games, Menace Beach, nonfiction, Christian retail, Wisdom Tree, Moses, NES, Christian bookstores, Color Dreams, Exodus, The Early Years, Robodemons, David and Goliath, Nintendo, Raid 2020, memoir, gaming, Sunday Funday, Bible, cartridge, Nintendo Entertainment System, Crystal Mines, King of Kings, Dan Lawton, censorship, Dan Burke, Christian video games, evangelism, old school gaming, Joshua, Noah, unlicensed, Jesus, Super 3D Noah's Ark, Bible Buffet, video game, speedrun, retrogaming, history
Publisher: Boss Fight Books
Published: 2015-03-06T05:00:00+00:00


DREAMS OF A PLAYABLE JESUS

Jesus Christ is the Jesus Christ of potential video game characters.

He starts out as a humble nobody carpenter with a ton of potential, chopping down trees for his dad’s shop. Then one day he’s anointed by John the Baptist, from whom he receives low-level miraculous powers. To level up his newfound skills, Jesus spends a month grinding in the wilderness, battling Satan. But when he gets back to Galilee, he finds it’s been overrun with demons! He’s got to exorcise his way through town, driving out the demons and healing cripples. Now it’s time to build his party—in a fishing minigame, he impresses Simon so much that Simon follows him and changes his name to Peter. Jesus wins the loyalty of his twelve apostles, each of whom has a unique skill—fishing, tax collecting, doubting, betraying—and once an apostle joins his team, Jesus can select any two of the twelve to accompany him on missions. He heals lepers, replenishes health by eating with sinners, raises the dead, feeds multitudes, battling demons all the while. By the time he reaches level 10, Jesus can perform the Transfiguration, a move that summons Moses and Elijah to wipes all enemies from the vicinity. Eventually Jesus collects enough gold to purchase a donkey, which he rides into the city of Jerusalem. He is arrested, tried, and killed for the sins of humanity via quick cutscene and then does battle with Satan once again—this time banishing Satan for good.

The story of Jesus, as I just told it, could be an RPG, a Metroidvania platformer, or, best of all, a 3D semi-open world action-adventure game. If you’ve played Wisdom Tree’s 1991 three-in-one Jesus game, King of Kings: The Early Years, you already know it is none of these things.

This was not accidental. “We stayed away from anything that could be considered blasphemy,” Dan Lawton said. “The idea we came up with was, no one should play God. […] God is out. Jesus is out. Everyone else is okay.”

Mostly, King of Kings is a game about animals. In “The Wise Men,” you’re a camel carrying a Wise Man to the birth of Jesus, but lizards and cacti keep attacking you and you have to spit on them. In “Flight to Egypt,” you’re a donkey carting Joseph, Mary, and Baby Jesus to Egypt, but snakes and mountain goats keep attacking you so you have to kill them with your ineffectual donkey kick. The mission ends when you leap over a polar bear.

Lawton wondered if even spitting camels could be too controversial for a sensitive Christian audience. “I remember when we were working on King of Kings,” Huff told me. “Dan Lawton was worried that parents would think we were teaching their kids to spit. We had three meetings on this subject. I thought this was ludicrous. Finally, I blurted out, ‘God made camels and camels spit!’ They never let me forget that comment.”

But then, in a Bible Adventures retread called “Jesus and the Temple,” you’re



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