Bedtime-Stories-for-Grownups by Larry Skeeter Mance

Author:Larry Skeeter Mance [Mance, Larry Skeeter]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: christian stories, stories with morals
Publisher: Fideli Publishing, Inc.
Published: 2021-09-23T04:00:00+00:00

Applying the Brakes

(Based on a True Story Told by Uncle Ned)

This old straight-shift Ford truck of a story is getting ready to take off the road, and if you got the time or the mind to, then hop in, and we’ll talk a spell. Close you’ door now, and don’t worry about seat belts ’cause they didn’t make ’em back then.

No, sir, I don’t mind if you smoke — long as the window’s cracked — just as long as you listen. All I ask is, for God’s sake, please don’t cut the cheese as it might cause me to forget and lose my focus. I’m prone to do so from time to time.

Heck, if you’re as bad as my wife, it might even cause me to wreck, which I did the winter befoe’ last — when it was nineteen degrees and she released one of her SBDs, which stands for “silent but deadly.” I was taking her to Walmart for groceries and a manicure.

Man, I’d never seen anything like it. It not only singed the hairs in my nostrils but also fogged up these dang windows, and I ran off the road. Well, me being eighty-three years old with Parkinson’s and a lead foot didn’t help none either, but I still say that it was the fog from the cheese that was the culprit.

Naw, nothing too bad — just clipped a couple of mailboxes, but they charged me wid a ten-thousand-dollar fine and destruction of government property since the mailboxes were out in front of the post office.

Now just calm down, young feller. I was just joshin’ ya!

Now you know why I took the inside door handle off on your side, and the window won’t let all the way down. Gotcha’ again!

I like to see the expressions on people’s faces when I tell ’em that. Truth is, my grandson’s fiancée’ broke that handle off when I told ’em that story while giving them a ride home after their car broke down at the picture show last week.

But the fog and the cheese part are true. The moral of that story is don’t drive yo’ wife nowhere the next day when you done had pinto beans for supper the night befoe’!

You see, I knew this feller once they called Trim Master. Said a guy named Michael Delaughter gave him that name. But befoe’ I could ask him why Mike chose that name, he told me this about himself as he sat on the porch close to dark wid his dog at his feet, thinking back over his life, pondering the many wonderful things God had done to save and sustain him over the years.

Yeah, I know. First gear’s a little rough, and the clutch is acting up, but here goes. I’m not gonna tell you everything — just a few things to perk your interest and hopefully make my point.

It was important for him to take inventory of the provisions of God by remembering how God had performed His Word in

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