Banaras Talkies by Satya Vyas

Author:Satya Vyas [Vyas, Satya]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9789354925382
Publisher: Penguin Random House India Private Limited
Published: 2022-07-08T00:00:00+00:00

Oye Lucky, Lucky Oye

Laptop—the most important and the most harmful object of the first decade of the twenty-first century. Important, because the kind fathers of changing times viewed it as a substitute for a typewriter. They believed it was necessary to have computer skills to get a job. Just like an MBA is what a BA used to be, a computer is what a typewriter used to be. As a result, fathers fulfilled even this expensive demand their sons made. It is also a harmful object, because the first thing the son learns to use is invariably Windows Media Player. Word, Excel and PowerPoint come later, in their own time.

This wasn’t entirely true for me. When there were talks of IT, I wasn’t entirely unaware of it and wanted to do a master’s in computer application. But this wasn’t possible, and I ended up studying law. It was, however, true that I knew a little more about computers than my friends did.

I had to go home right before the second semester ended because I got sick with jaundice and could only appear for five exams, but the good part was that I got a laptop. Papa gave me a lot of instructions and also told me to keep practising typing on it. But I had been given wings and spent almost all of the next semester watching movies. And now, the third-semester exams were knocking on the door.

‘Fucker, your studies have gone to the dogs! Ever since you got the laptop, all you do is watch movies. The exams are almost here, you’ll pass everything else, but CrPC will trip you up,’ Jaivardhan fumed.

‘And this guy has fucked me over as well. Just watches movies himself and makes us watch them too!’ Dada agreed.

‘Since you’re so busy watching movies, raja, go write about movies in your CrPC exam! You’ve passed only five exams in your second-semester exams anyway!’ Jaivardhan told me.

‘I didn’t pass only five exams, I took only five exams because of jaundice.’

‘Oh, look! This man talks as well! Don’t you talk, Raja Banaras, focus on watching movies! You’ll miss a scene. Look! Dalip Tahil is getting beaten up! Got a bioscope and now he’s got his ass stuck to it all day. And what about everything your father did for you? Goodbye, huh?’ Jaivardhan bristled.

‘You’re not getting it, Baba. It’s not substantive law where you can write anything and pass. We haven’t attended classes anyway, and it’s really tough too,’ Dada tried to explain.

‘Now let him be. Dalip Tahil will write his paper for him and Bruce Lee will check it. Our papers have to checked by Moor-li, not Bruce Lee. Come, let’s get some revision done, otherwise we’re both going to fail with him,’ Jaivardhan told Dada.

‘Nobody is going to fail.’

‘Why, huh? Is Bruce Lee Sir setting the paper?’ Jaivardhan taunted.

‘No, Murali Sir,’ I answered quickly.

‘Now look at that! This is absolutely breaking news! Did you receive this news from your black buffalo as well?’ Jaivardhan called the laptop a buffalo.

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