A Staten Island Love Letter 3 by Jahquel J

Author:Jahquel J [J, Jahquel]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Urban Chapters Publications
Published: 2019-03-15T04:00:00+00:00

7

Ghost

All night I tossed and turned thinking about what Freedom had told me. Pregnant. I wasn’t expecting her to hit me with that. Then she tossed in wanting to move back to Georgia. At first, I was fucked up in the head because she wanted to leave and take my kids from me again. Rain had gotten so comfortable with Samaj and Somali that it would fuck with her. I was trying hard to make shit work and make sure my baby didn’t have to feel the pain I felt every day when I thought about Summer. I knew she would always wonder why her sister died and I would eventually have to have that conversation with her when she grew older. Yet, right now I didn’t want to have that conversation with her. I wanted Rain to remain an innocent child for as long as I could keep her one. One day she was going to grow up and want to take on the world without my guidance. It was kind of what Priest was going through right now. He raised Kiss like his own daughter and only wanted the best for her. My worst fear is having Rain grow up and resent me for the death of her little sister. The pain from losing Summer was enough, but the pain from having Rain hate me and blame me for it was too much to bare as a father. In a perfect world, I wouldn’t have to mourn the death of my daughter. Our kids were supposed to bury us, not the other way around.

Free had got up early to go over to her mother’s house so it was just me and the kids in the house. Marisol was running late, so I fixed them breakfast and helped them clean up their toys in the sitting area. Marisol had been on some shit lately and after my text she finally showed her ass up to work yesterday. As much as I tried to ignore Free’s complaints, the proof was right there. I knew she was pregnant with Priest’s seed and shit, so she was going through some shit, but that didn’t mean she could slack off on some of the shit that I needed her to do. If she couldn’t do the job, she needed to let me know so I could hire someone that could do her job. I climbed the stairs and entered the bathroom where I poured more bleach into the toilet. The way Free was throwing up this morning, it was like she was possessed. I had hopped up to piss real quick and she was kneeled over the toilet emptying her guts. I held her hair and did my part, but it was then that everything hit me; she was really pregnant.

What if the baby ended up being Zoe’s baby? Could I love a baby that had the same blood of the man that was responsible for taking my daughter’s life? I knew it wasn’t the baby’s fault, but my feelings wouldn’t let me ignore it.

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